JANUARY 26, 1981

Full News Archive

• Headline: UConn's Thrilling Basketball Triumphs. Impact: The excitement from UConn's court victories led to an obsession with sports that eventually resulted in a global phenomenon: people wearing jerseys to weddings. We can thank that winning streak for the tragic sight of grooms in basketball shorts and sneakers.. Fact: Did you know that the average American spends more time watching sports than they do exercising? Guess those victories really do add zest to the couch potato lifestyle!.
• Headline: Taste Tradition at Mamma Assunta. Impact: The success of Mamma Assunta's small restaurant spurred a trend of tiny eateries popping up everywhere, leading to countless hipster establishments where you can pay 15 bucks for a 'deconstructed' sandwich. You're welcome, world!. Fact: Fun fact: 'small places' are often just a disguise for overpriced food and an excuse to have a line out the door. If you have to squeeze into a corner, the food must be good, right?.
• Headline: Candy Follows a Tradition. Impact: Guy Pietrobono's candy-making tradition resulted in an explosion of artisanal candy shops, forever altering the landscape of sweets. Now we have $10 chocolate bars that come with a side of pretentiousness!. Fact: Did you know that honey never spoils? That’s right, it can outlive your relationship with your dentist, who just might be hoping you skip the candy aisle..
• Headline: NEW JERSEY HOUSING; HOME PRICES - HIGH, MEDIUM AND LOW. Impact: The fluctuating home prices in New Jersey led to a real estate frenzy that eventually caused a nationwide obsession with 'fixer-uppers.' Thanks to this headline, every millennial now believes they can turn a dilapidated shack into a mansion with a coat of paint and a YouTube tutorial.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more inflated than home prices in New Jersey is the ego of a typical real estate agent? It's a tough market out there!.
• Headline: Antiques; LET YOUR FEET DO THE WALKING. Impact: The antique shops in Nyack turned into a full-blown gentrification scheme where hipsters now pay top dollar for dusty old furniture that their grandparents threw out. Ah, nostalgia at its finest!. Fact: Did you know that the word 'antique' can be used to describe anything older than you? So yes, that old pair of socks could qualify!.
• Headline: PATERSON TAKES HEALTH CARE TO THE STREETS; PATERSON. Impact: The establishment of the health center in Paterson set off a chain reaction of municipal health initiatives that ultimately led to a rise in health-conscious citizens – although most still prefer their fries with extra cheese.. Fact: Did you know that municipal health centers are often the best-kept secrets for avoiding long lines at the ER? Just don’t ask how I know that..
• Headline: The Careful Shopper; A Clutch of Designer Bags At Shoe Horn Shop. Impact: The clutch of designer bags led to an explosion of counterfeit goods and a thriving underground market for knock-offs. Now everyone can strut around with a 'Coach' bag that costs less than a cup of coffee!. Fact: Did you know that owning a designer handbag can increase your chances of being mistaken for someone important? Too bad it doesn’t come with a complimentary personality upgrade!.
• Headline: DESPITE CRY FOR CUTS, TECHNOLOGY FIRMS REMAIN BULLISH. Impact: The bullish attitude of technology firms in the face of cuts led to an unforeseen tech bubble that eventually burst, teaching us all a valuable lesson: optimism doesn’t pay the bills, but it does come with a side of regret.. Fact: Did you know that technology firms are just like your high school friends? They promise big things but often leave you hanging when you need them the most!.
• Headline: Antiques; FLORENE MAINE AUCTION AT SOTHBY'S. Impact: Florene Maine's auction at Sotheby's sent shockwaves through the antique community, leading to a rise in overpriced household decorations that make you question the meaning of 'vintage.' Now, everyone thinks their grandma's old vase is worth a fortune.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more inflated than auction prices at Sotheby’s is the number of people pretending to understand what 'mid-century modern' actually means?.