DECEMBER 5, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Political Humor in Campaigns. Impact: This article on political wisecracks led to the formation of the first ever 'Political Comedy Club' in 1984, which inadvertently trained future comedians to run for office themselves. The result? A nation of stand-up comedians turned politicians, with punchlines replacing policies.. Fact: Did you know that political jokes have been around since ancient Rome? Apparently, not much has changed; it’s still the same old punchlines, just with fancier haircuts..
• Headline: Morgan's Legal Win Over Iranian Assets. Impact: This court order created a butterfly effect in the financial world, leading to a secret underground market for attaching shares of companies. By the 90s, it had evolved into a bizarre sport where lawyers attempted to attach the most absurd assets imaginable.. Fact: Fun fact: Krupp Industries once made cannons for the German army. So attaching shares is just the modern equivalent of cannonballing into a financial battlefield..
• Headline: Miracle at Longview: Baby in Manger. Impact: The discovery of this baby led to a new holiday tradition where churches across America began hiding babies in mangers, hoping to inspire more holiday spirit. Who knew Nativity scenes could get so competitive?. Fact: This is probably the only time in history when 'found in a manger' was a better headline than 'found in a dumpster.'.
• Headline: GASOLINE USE DROPS SHARPLY IN CITY AREA. Impact: The sharp decline in gasoline use prompted an unexpected resurgence of horse-drawn carriages in urban areas. By the 1990s, New York City was nearly back to medieval transportation methods, complete with knights in shining armor—or at least, in reflective vests.. Fact: In related news, the last time gasoline prices spiked, people actually considered walking. Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Boeing Reports Sale of Six 727's. Impact: Boeing's sale of jets triggered a chain reaction that eventually led to the creation of the 'Frequent Flyer' program. Little did they know they were about to unleash a world of points-obsessed travelers.. Fact: Did you know that the 727 was one of the first jets to have an 'all you can eat' option? Just kidding, but that would have been something!.
• Headline: FOREIGN AFFAIRS Von Hayek And Lima's Vendors. Impact: This article ignited a debate about economic philosophy that ended up inspiring a board game called 'Capitalism: Lima Edition,' where players could buy and sell street vendors instead of properties. Who knew economics could be so entertaining?. Fact: Friedrich Hayek once argued that too much government intervention stifles innovation. Ironically, he would probably be appalled by the amount of paperwork involved in street vending today..
• Headline: Koch to Alter Hospital Agency Control. Impact: Koch's plan to alter hospital agency control led to a series of power struggles that ultimately inspired a hit reality TV show, 'Mayor Wars,' where city officials battled it out for control over various agencies. Because why not make politics fun?. Fact: Did you know that Mayor Koch once asked a crowd, 'How am I doing?' and the crowd booed? Talk about a tough crowd!.
• Headline: Equity Moves to Save 3 Theaters. Impact: The push to save theaters sparked a worldwide revival of live performances, leading to an era where Broadway actors were the new rock stars. The result? A whole generation of kids wanted to be either actors or directors instead of astronauts.. Fact: Theater is the only place where 'breaking a leg' is a good thing. Unless you’re in a horror play, then it’s just awkward..
• Headline: Rep. Vanik Warns Airbus. Impact: Vanik's warning to Airbus led to a secret pact among politicians to hold 'anti-European' meetings where they would bond over how to make America great again, while eating croissants. Irony levels: off the charts.. Fact: Did you know that Airbus was initially created to compete with Boeing? Talk about keeping your enemies closer!.