NOVEMBER 29, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Global Banks Press for Action on Iran Loans. Impact: This event triggered a global banking game of chicken where banks started treating each other like competitive children on a playground, leading to the eventual creation of the 'International Banker’s Playground' where loans were traded like baseball cards.. Fact: Ah, nothing says 'trust' like banks issuing threats to each other while the rest of us just try to make rent..
• Headline: Advertising. Impact: This merger led to a string of increasingly bizarre advertising campaigns, paving the way for 'quirky' ads that you still roll your eyes at today, proving that sometimes 'efficiency' is just code for 'let’s throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks.'. Fact: Remember, if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with unconventional marketing strategies!.
• Headline: Miller Calls Arabs Worried About U.S. War Threat. Impact: Miller’s comments sent shockwaves through the oil market, leading to a decade-long obsession with oil prices, which has resulted in countless memes about gas station prices that we still laugh (or cry) about today.. Fact: Oil prices fluctuated so much that they inspired a new Olympic sport: 'Gas Price Guessing.'.
• Headline: U.S. SELLS BOOKLETS ON A‐PLANT SECURITY. Impact: The decision to publicize security documents led to a surge in 'How to Sabotage a Nuclear Plant' DIY workshops, completely missing the point about national security and instead creating an underground economy of saboteur wannabes.. Fact: Because nothing says 'national security' like handing out how-to guides at a discount!.
• Headline: Blue Bell Plans to Offer $28 a Share for Jantzen. Impact: This corporate maneuver launched a series of bizarre mergers and acquisitions that would eventually culminate in the creation of a mega-company producing everything from ice cream to swimwear, resulting in the world's most confusing shopping experience.. Fact: Imagine the board meetings: 'So, how do we market ice cream bikinis?'.
• Headline: Simon &. Impact: The reshuffling at Simon & Schuster set the stage for a publishing arms race where everyone tried to one-up each other with increasingly ridiculous book deals, leading to the phenomenon of 'celebrity memoirs' that you pretend to read.. Fact: Fun fact: The title of the memoir is often the most creative part, overshadowed only by the ghostwriter's struggle for credit!.
• Headline: Ballet: The Royal Danes, Bourn on vale's Bounce. Impact: This performance was so breathtaking that it inspired a whole generation of young dancers to pursue ballet, leading to a worldwide shortage of tutus and an increase in parents asking, 'Why can’t you dance like that?'. Fact: If only every ballet performance could come with a disclaimer: 'Results may vary—especially for those of us who are more graceful on the couch.'.