NOVEMBER 17, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Carter Seeks Governors' Aid for Oil Conservation. Impact: This plea for help from governors likely set off a series of energy conservation efforts that made every American think turning off the lights was a form of heroism. Spoiler alert: it wasn't.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'reduce, reuse, recycle' was still a couple of decades away from being a thing? Thanks for the head start, Jimmy!.
• Headline: Iranians Ordered to Leave U.S. Amidst Tensions. Impact: The mass exodus of Iranian students sparked a wave of cultural misunderstanding that would promote the stereotype that all Iranians are either students or spies. Surprise!. Fact: Did you know that being told to leave the U.S. can really boost your academic credentials? Just kidding, it probably just made them better at dodging immigration officers..
• Headline: 2 Issues Trouble Rhodesia Parley. Impact: This parley might have pushed Rhodesia closer to independence, or at least given everyone a reason to argue about something else for a while. Oh, the joys of political negotiations!. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic negotiations are just like family dinners? There’s always that one person who refuses to talk unless they get their way..
• Headline: Big Board Votes To Restrict Access. Impact: By restricting access to the NYSE, members may have inadvertently encouraged a black market for stock tips, proving that secrecy often breeds curiosity – and greed.. Fact: Did you know that the NYSE was basically the original social network for the rich? Complete with insider trading, of course..
• Headline: Capacity Use In Factories Off. Impact: The decrease in factory capacity use foreshadowed the rise of globalization, as companies decided it was cheaper to outsource than to actually make things in America. Thanks for the job security, right?. Fact: Did you know that '85% capacity' is just a fancy way of saying 'we still have some donuts left but we're not in a rush to sell them'?.
• Headline: An Arena of the Future. Impact: The construction of the Meadowlands Arena marked the beginning of a new era of sports entertainment, paving the way for overpriced nachos and questionable halftime shows. Enjoy the ride!. Fact: Did you know that 'Arena of the Future' is just a euphemism for 'where your wallet goes to die'? Welcome to the future!.