NOVEMBER 11, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Inside General Motors Revealed. Impact: If only GM had focused on planning instead of executive perks, perhaps we would have flying cars by now instead of more traffic jams. Thanks, DeLorean, for not making it worse.. Fact: Did you know that the DeLorean DMC-12, the car that famously travels through time in 'Back to the Future,' was actually produced by a company that was a befuddled giant? Talk about irony!.
• Headline: Challenges Post-Airline Deregulation. Impact: With airlines raising fares post-deregulation, we can thank this event for the rise of budget airlines and the eternal struggle for legroom. Who knew the price of discomfort would soar?. Fact: Did you know that airlines once served full meals on flights? Now you can have a bag of pretzels if you sell your soul at the ticket counter..
• Headline: Giant Killer. Impact: The story of a giant is a perfect metaphor for how society often overlooks the little guys. If only we paid as much attention to the 'little' events in history as we do to giants.. Fact: Did you know that 'Giant Killer' could also refer to the diet of anyone trying to survive on those Manhattan rents? It's a battle of epic proportions!.
• Headline: A DECADE OF CONSTITUTIONAL REVISION. Impact: A decade of constitutional revision—now that's a euphemism for 'let's keep changing the rules until we find one we like.' Good luck explaining that to future generations!. Fact: Did you know that the Constitution has been amended 27 times? That’s like an annual tradition of 'let’s fix our mistakes' that nobody seems to learn from!.
• Headline: Panel Finds State Lacks Waste Plan. Impact: New Jersey’s lack of a waste plan is a classic case of 'let’s just wing it!' Future generations will surely look back and laugh...from their non-toxic homes.. Fact: Did you know that New Jersey is known for its 'garbage crisis'? It's almost like they wanted to make recycling the next great adventure sport..
• Headline: Bitter Dispute at Yale. Impact: The tenure fight at Yale is a reminder that even the most prestigious institutions can be riddled with drama worthy of a soap opera. Who needs reality TV?. Fact: Did you know that Yale’s political science department could rival any political drama? The real question is, can they teach conflict resolution to themselves?.
• Headline: Dentsu's Billions in Billings. Impact: Dentsu's rise to advertising dominance foreshadowed the world we live in today, where every click counts, and privacy is just a suggestion. Thanks, capitalism!. Fact: Did you know that Dentsu's advertising prowess is so strong that even your toaster might soon have its own marketing team?.
• Headline: More Bachelors Buying Houses. Impact: The trend of bachelors buying houses hints at a future where singlehood is celebrated, and the concept of 'adulting' is no longer a curse word. Who said you need a partner for a mortgage?. Fact: Did you know that owning a home as a bachelor is like having a pet goldfish? It looks impressive until you realize you still have to clean the tank..