NOVEMBER 1, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Janet Gaynor Takes Broadway by Storm. Impact: Little did they know, Janet Gaynor's performance would inspire a whole generation of actors to dramatically misinterpret the essence of comedy—all thanks to Broadway's tendency to take things too seriously.. Fact: Did you know that Janet Gaynor was the first-ever Academy Award winner? So, she basically started the trend of people thanking everyone from their pet goldfish to their 7th-grade math teacher during acceptance speeches..
• Headline: Bessemer Gunpowder Plant Explosion Injures Eight. Impact: This unfortunate explosion led to increased safety regulations in the industry. However, it also sparked a nationwide obsession with reality TV shows about dangerous jobs—because why not watch people risk their lives for our entertainment?. Fact: Sadly, explosions like these remind us of the inherent risks in manufacturing. But hey, at least it didn't happen during a barbecue, right?.
• Headline: Germany Raises Interest Rates Amid Tensions. Impact: The ripple effect of this decision caused coffee prices to rise ten years later, leading to the first global coffee shortage crisis. Thanks, Bundesbank, for making mornings much more painful.. Fact: Interest rates are like the weather—everyone talks about them, but no one actually does anything about it. Just a bunch of suits moving numbers around!.
• Headline: Dance: Steve Paxton's Improvisations. Impact: Steve's improvisational dance techniques would eventually influence countless hipsters, leading to an era where waving your arms in a rhythmically questionable manner became a form of expression in bars worldwide.. Fact: Improvisation in dance is like improv comedy—90% of it is just trying not to fall over and desperately hoping someone laughs..
• Headline: REGULATION IS URGED FOR FUNERAL HOMES; Consumers and Six in House Fight Move to Bar F.T.C. Proposal. Impact: This fight for regulation sparked a consumer rights movement that would ripple into various industries, ultimately leading to the rise of Yelp reviews. Because who doesn't want to rate how well they were treated after losing a loved one?. Fact: Funeral homes are one of the few industries where you can literally count on a captive audience. Talk about job security!.
• Headline: 74 Die in a DC‐10 Crash in Mexico As Pilot Lands on Closed Runway; 74 Die in Mexico City Jetliner Crash; United Press International. Impact: This tragic event highlighted the importance of aviation safety regulations and led to stricter protocols, which ironically paved the way for a future of more complicated airport security lines.. Fact: Air travel is one of the safest modes of transportation, unless you're landing on a runway that’s closed. Then, it's the worst!.
• Headline: Ravitch Tells Senators He'll Forgo M.T.A. Pay. Impact: This noble act of self-sacrifice inspired a slew of politicians to forgo their paychecks, which, spoiler alert, lasted about as long as a snowball in a sauna.. Fact: Forgoing a salary in politics is like that one friend who constantly says they 'don't need' dessert while eyeing the cake like a hawk..
• Headline: Albany Legislators Nearing Accord On Financing for New Amex Home. Impact: This agreement led to a surge in the number of skyscrapers in Battery Park, forever changing the skyline—and making it harder for pigeons to find a place to poop!. Fact: Financing for new buildings is basically just adulting at its finest—lots of paperwork and a constant state of anxiety over 'what if we run out of money?'.
• Headline: Opera: Viennese Perform Ponnelle's ‘Figaro’ Dexter to Remain in Met Opera's ‘Troika’. Impact: This production's success led to an opera renaissance, which simultaneously inspired a new wave of operatic memes that confused and entertained the masses for decades to come.. Fact: Opera is one of the few art forms where you can cry in a foreign language and still feel totally justified. It's basically a dramatic soap opera with better costumes!.