OCTOBER 28, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of DeLorean Motor Company. Impact: If the DMC-12 hadn't been a flop, we might be driving flying DeLoreans to work right now. Instead, we're stuck in traffic with our sensible sedans, wondering what could have been. Fact: Fun fact: The DMC-12 became a movie star, thanks to 'Back to the Future.' It turns out, time travel wasn't just a dream—it was the only way to make that car cool.
• Headline: Labatt's Green Bottle Marketing Success. Impact: If Labatt's hadn't switched to green bottles, craft beer aficionados might still be drinking from brown glass, forever wondering why their beer tastes like disappointment. Fact: Did you know that green bottles are actually better at protecting beer from light? So next time you sip, just remember: you might be drinking a 'green' success story.
• Headline: Theater Review: The Distant Music of Summer. Impact: If only theater-goers had known how many times they'd have to sit through bad adaptations of classic novels, they might have invested in a different form of entertainment altogether. Fact: Fun fact: The distant music of summer is actually just the sound of people trying to find an air conditioner in July.
• Headline: A VICTORY BY SIMON REGARDED AS LIKELY. Impact: This election could have altered the Bronx landscape, but instead, voters are likely to choose the candidate with the most catchy slogan, proving once again that charisma trumps policy. Fact: Did you know that Bronx Boro Presidents have the power to influence everything from parks to public safety? It's like being a mayor, but with less responsibility and more backslapping.
• Headline: Music Notes: With An American Accent. Impact: Zimerman’s debut might have inspired a surge in piano lessons for wayward youths, leading to an unexpected influx of piano bars in the 80s. So, thanks for that, Krystian!. Fact: Fun fact: Zimerman once made a piano cry. Or was it just my heart? It’s hard to tell with all this classical music.
• Headline: PRETORIA SUGGESTS CAUSE OF ‘EXPLOSION’. Impact: The debate over the explosion theory likely led to more conspiracy theories than actual facts, paving the way for future generations to question everything from moon landings to who really invented sliced bread. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more explosive than a political scandal is the number of theories that come with it? Just ask anyone with a Twitter account.
• Headline: Cambodia, Barring Aid, Calls It an Imperialist Trick. Impact: Cambodia's rejection of aid might have led to a rise in black market goods, a trend that would later inspire countless 'survival' reality shows. Thanks, Pol Pot!. Fact: Fun fact: Rejecting aid often leads to more complicated international relations. Who knew politics could be so messy?.
• Headline: For PAF, Troubles Follow Success. Impact: The PAF Playhouse's identity crisis might have inspired a series of existential crises in local artists, leading to an underground movement of avant-garde performance art that nobody asked for. Fact: Did you know that every theater has its own version of 'what are we doing with our lives'? It’s like a drama club for adults facing mid-life crises.
• Headline: NEW JERSEY HOUSING; A New Life for an Old Hospital. Impact: Transforming a hospital into apartments for the elderly might have inadvertently created a new trend in housing, proving once and for all that old buildings have more lives than cats. Fact: Fun fact: Living in a former hospital means your neighbors are probably great at taking care of you—at least until the fire alarm goes off.
• Headline: G.O.P. Strives For Comeback In Greenwich. Impact: The G.O.P.'s struggle for a comeback in Greenwich might have sparked the trend of political campaigns being more about spectacle than actual issues, leading to more debates about haircuts than healthcare. Fact: Did you know that the first woman to hold this post was a Democrat? And yes, the world did not implode, despite what some might have predicted.