OCTOBER 27, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gov Carey Testifies for Anthony Scotto. Impact: In a shocking twist of fate, Gov. Carey’s endorsement of Scotto not only kept him out of jail but also inspired future political candidates to seek character witnesses from questionable allies, resulting in a new political trend: the 'Criminal Endorsement' campaign strategy. Fast forward to today, and we have politicians hiring mobsters as PR consultants. Who knew racketeering could be so... helpful?. Fact: Did you know that $70,000 in 1978 would be like getting a Starbucks gift card for a year today? Because nothing says ‘trustworthy’ like a caffeine-fueled campaign!.
• Headline: Bobby Hull Returns to Winnipeg Jets. Impact: Bobby Hull's return to the Jets sparked a rivalry that led to a series of increasingly ridiculous hockey fights, culminating in a ‘throw-your-stick’ protest that swept the nation. The NHL now has a policy requiring all sticks to be made from foam rubber.. Fact: Did you know Bobby Hull was known for his slap shot? It was so powerful that it was rumored to have caused a minor earthquake in Winnipeg. Sorry, scientists, but hockey players are the real seismic threats!.
• Headline: Opera: City Company Presents Mozart's ‘Tito’. Impact: The NYC Opera's performance of 'Tito' led to a series of ridiculous operatic adaptations of popular modern songs. Imagine a full-blown opera of 'Baby Shark.' Thanks, Mozart, for inspiring a new generation of 'classical' music enthusiasts and YouTube sensations.. Fact: Fun fact: Mozart was once a child prodigy. If only he could see how his work has influenced today’s 'musical' landscape—he’d probably be rolling in his grave or demanding royalties!.
• Headline: Meany Says Carter Will Address Labor Federation Parley May 15. Impact: Carter's address at the AFL-CIO convention became a defining moment, prompting unions to adopt a new motto: 'If you can’t beat them, just ask them to join you.' This led to a nationwide trend of union members attending conventions just for the free food.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of unions, the real power lies in the potluck? Because nothing says solidarity like a shared casserole dish..
• Headline: Black Named to Head Office for Civil Rights. Impact: Roma Stewart being named head of the Office for Civil Rights kicked off a chain reaction that encouraged diversity in government roles. Today, we have politicians who are so diverse that they need a spreadsheet just to keep track of their identities.. Fact: Fun fact: The title 'First Black Permanent Director' is like a badge of honor in history, akin to being the first person to find a parking spot in a crowded city..
• Headline: Parisian Buys Bokassa's Homes, Offers Resale Proceeds to U.N.. Impact: Bokassa selling his homes led to a global trend of deposed leaders trying to cash in on their past misdeeds. This sparked a new industry: 'Dictator Real Estate,' where former leaders sell their mansions to unsuspecting investors who think they’re getting a steal.. Fact: Did you know that Bokassa once declared himself emperor? It’s like a toddler declaring themselves King of the Sandbox, but with more gold and less logic..
• Headline: OBSERVER The Bopco Bopper. Impact: R Baker's report on oil company earnings led to the birth of conspiracy theories linking oil prices to the fluctuations of the moon. The result? A new generation of 'moonologists' who claim that gas prices rise on full moons.. Fact: Fun fact: Major oil companies are like your ex—always raising prices and having the audacity to act surprised when you get upset..