SEPTEMBER 23, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Office Tower at 560 Lexington Av. Impact: As this building filled up, it became a hub for corporate espionage. Who knew that office gossip would lead to the invention of the office water cooler? The next thing you know, every workplace has a 'cooler talk' culture. Fact: 560 Lexington Av is now a prime example of how not to design a workplace if you want employees to actually enjoy their lives.
• Headline: End of Marine Designer Strike at Newport News. Impact: The end of this strike was the moment that future unions started to realize that instead of striking, they could just take a long coffee break and wait for the company to collapse under its own incompetence. Fact: 30 months of striking means that those designers could have built a time machine to escape their miserable jobs. Too bad they didn’t think of it!.
• Headline: 300 Years Of Craftsmanship. Impact: This exhibit led to a newfound appreciation for folk art, which in turn caused hipsters to flock to thrift stores, declaring their vintage finds as 'art' and driving up prices on what used to be considered junk. Fact: 300 years of craftsmanship just goes to show that some people really do have too much time on their hands.
• Headline: Affirmed, With Pincav, Takes Woodward. Impact: Affirmed's victory sent ripples through the horse racing world, leading to a renaissance in betting that ultimately resulted in the creation of the first online betting platform—thank you, horse!. Fact: The only thing faster than Affirmed on the track was the decline of your bank account after betting on him.
• Headline: The Baldrige Book of Manners. Impact: Letitia Baldridge's advice helped shape corporate etiquette, leading to a generation of CEOs who could recite the proper fork for salad but still couldn't balance a budget. Fact: Nothing says 'I’m a competent businessman' like knowing how to avoid social gaffes while simultaneously ignoring your company's impending doom.
• Headline: Uncertainties Surround Utility Plan. Impact: This utility plan uncertainty paved the way for future generations to perfect the art of indecision, leading to countless meetings about meetings and a national shortage of caffeine. Fact: Feasibility studies are basically the adult version of saying, 'Let’s think about it... indefinitely.'.
• Headline: Sutherland: No More Goofy Roles. Impact: Sutherland’s decision to avoid goofy roles was the moment Hollywood collectively sighed in relief, sparking a wave of serious dramas that made us all forget how to laugh. Fact: Sutherland's goofy roles were so iconic that even the serious stuff he did later couldn't escape the shadow of his past—like a bad haircut that just won't grow out.