AUGUST 1, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: E.E.C. Confronts U.S. Synthetic Fiber Imports. Impact: This little spat over synthetic fibers could eventually lead to the rise of eco-friendly fabrics, sparking a global movement for sustainable fashion. Who knew a bit of jealousy could have such a green outcome?. Fact: Did you know that the E.E.C. considered banning synthetic fibers, but ended up just giving them a stern talking-to? Because, you know, that's how international diplomacy works!.
• Headline: Concert: Stoltzman Plays Clarinet With Bravura. Impact: Stoltzman's clarinet performance sent shockwaves through the art world, leading to a clarinet renaissance. So, if you hear clarinets everywhere now, you can thank this concert for the resurgence of woodwind envy.. Fact: Did you know that clarinetists have been caught trying to steal the spotlight from flutists since the dawn of time? It’s a woodwind rivalry for the ages!.
• Headline: A Wing, a Prayer, a Family Affair. Impact: This annual fly-in event may have inadvertently inspired a new generation of backyard aviators, resulting in countless homemade contraptions that should probably be classified as 'flying disasters'.. Fact: Did you know that Oshkosh is the only place where the phrase 'Watch this!' has caused more accidents than at a toddler’s birthday party?.
• Headline: Nevada Forbids Burying Of Radioactive Wastes. Impact: This decision to forbid radioactive waste burial could lead to the creation of a whole new branch of waste management. Perhaps we'll see a reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Radioactive Waste' soon!. Fact: Did you know that radioactive waste management is the most dangerous game of hide and seek? Spoiler: you can’t really hide from radiation!.
• Headline: Diplomats and Titled Adorn Paris Couture. Impact: The presence of diplomats at a fashion show subtly taught us that politics and haute couture are forever intertwined, leading to future summits where peace is brokered over fabric swatches.. Fact: Did you know that in Paris, the only thing more competitive than the fashion industry is the race to get the last croissant at a café?.
• Headline: Ashe Enters N.Y. Hospital Complaining of ‘Weakness’. Impact: Ashe's hospital admission would later inspire a generation of tennis players to take their health seriously, proving that even the strongest athletes are not immune to the fragility of life.. Fact: Did you know that 'weakness' is just a fancy word for 'I really need a nap'?.
• Headline: U.S. Steel Net Up 24% For Quarter.