JULY 29, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Chartering a Bus: Tips for Travelers. Impact: If everyone had just walked instead of chartering buses, we might have saved millions in fossil fuels and developed a culture of fitness. Instead, we just created a new breed of bus enthusiasts who will argue about the best routes for eternity.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than chartering a bus is figuring out how many people can actually fit on it without violating some obscure local ordinance..
• Headline: County Attracts Foreign Business Expansion. Impact: This influx of foreign corporations could have led to a renaissance of innovation in the county, or it could have simply turned it into the world's largest strip mall. Only time will tell, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that innovation part.. Fact: Turns out, the phrase 'if you build it, they will come' has a sequel: 'if you tax it, they will leave.'.
• Headline: Exploring Culinary Delights at Le Delice. Impact: The review of Le Delice could have influenced a culinary revolution, or at the very least, compelled people to take more scenic routes to overpriced salads. Who knew a restaurant review could be so powerful?. Fact: Dining out is just a fancy way of saying, 'I am too lazy to cook and too broke to eat at home!'.
• Headline: Well Past Age 65, They󀀧re Still Boss. Impact: The fact that executives over 65 were still in charge could have inspired a whole generation of 'age is just a number' memes, leading to a workplace where everyone just pretends they’re in their 30s forever.. Fact: Studies show that the average age of a CEO is inversely proportional to the number of times they say, 'Back in my day…'.
• Headline: Barging Through the Netherlands. Impact: Barge travel could have launched an entire movement of leisurely vacations, but instead, it just became a niche market for people who can't handle actual boating.. Fact: Leisurely barge travel: because sometimes you just want to float on a canal while contemplating your life choices at 2 mph..
• Headline: SENATE REPUBLICANS OFFER TAX CUT PLAN. Impact: This tax cut plan might have temporarily soothed the economy, but it also set the stage for future generations to debate whether tax cuts are the answer or simply the beginning of a never-ending cycle of budget cuts.. Fact: Tax cuts are like a magic trick: they make money disappear, and the audience is left wondering where it went..
• Headline: Around the Nation. Impact: Busing children to schools could have fostered a new era of integration and understanding, or it could have just caused endless debates about the merits of school choice. Either way, it kept everyone talking.. Fact: Supreme Court decisions on busing are the ultimate way to remind parents that the only time kids really want to ride the bus is when they’re trying to escape their homework..