JULY 19, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Memorable Summer Family Visit in Ocean City. Impact: If Ellen Jones had not visited her grand-aunt, maybe she would have become a world-renowned artist instead of a summer home decorator. Who knew a simple visit could alter the trajectory of art history?. Fact: Fun fact: Ocean City, NJ, is a hot spot for families, not just for summer homes but also for those delightful boardwalk fries that no one can resist!.
• Headline: Safire's Take on American Confidence Crisis. Impact: William Safire's theory could mean that if Carter hadn't faked a crisis, the entire 1980 election might have turned into a game of 'Who Can Ignore Reality Better?'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'crisis of confidence' has been used so many times that it’s practically collecting social security?.
• Headline: First Boston Net Gains 1.5%. Impact: If First Boston hadn't reported a 1.5% gain, perhaps the stock market would have taken a nap instead of starting the wild rollercoaster ride of the '80s.. Fact: 1.5% growth sounds great until you realize it’s the same percentage by which your patience dwindles when waiting for a coffee..
• Headline: Hearings Begin on a Bill to Give Congress Veto Over Regulations. Impact: Senator Schmitt's bill could have opened the floodgates for Congress to veto every single regulation, leading to a dystopian future where no one knows what the rules even are anymore.. Fact: Did you know that in Congress, the word 'regulation' is often synonymous with 'thing we don’t want to deal with today'?.
• Headline: A Renaissance In Old Linens. Impact: The resurgence of interest in old linens could have led to a world where every household is a museum of dirty, moth-eaten tablecloths, making flea markets the new Louvre.. Fact: Old linens are like ex-boyfriends: they seem charming until you realize they just take up space and sometimes have a weird smell..
• Headline: E.P.A. Aides Assert Disposal Rules Exempt Some Highly Toxic Wastes. Impact: If the EPA had followed through on those regulations, perhaps toxic waste would have become the next hip trend in urban gardening—who doesn’t love a little radioactive lettuce?. Fact: Fun fact: Toxic waste disposal rules sometimes read like a bad soap opera—full of drama, plot twists, and characters nobody really trusts..
• Headline: Cabby Protest on Fares Ties Up Traffic in City in Morning Rush. Impact: The cabby protest not only tied up traffic but also possibly contributed to the invention of the 'slow taxi shuffle,' a dance move that took NYC by storm... or not.. Fact: Traffic jams in NYC are so common that they're practically a tourist attraction—why pay for a tour when you can just sit in gridlock?.
• Headline: Koch Puts Price On City Support For Casino Vote. Impact: Koch's casino deal could have led to NYC becoming the gambling capital of the world, where slot machines are as common as hot dog stands—who needs Vegas?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more colorful than the lights of a casino is the language of those trying to win back their money?.