JULY 14, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Insights from The Times: Childhood Literature. Impact: Anita Schorsch's book review led to a worldwide obsession with childhood imagery, resulting in a bizarre trend of adults dressing as children in public parks, thinking it was the 'new nostalgia'.. Fact: Did you know that reading about childhood can actually make you regress? Just ask your therapist..
• Headline: Maureen Young Performs in Central Park. Impact: Maureen Young’s rendition of 'Bohème' in the park sparked a movement for outdoor operas, leading to the unfortunate rise of opera flash mobs in grocery stores.. Fact: Did you know that singing in public can clear your sinuses? Just not in opera. That’s a whole different level of vocal acrobatics..
• Headline: When Japan Reversed ‘Progress’. Impact: Japan's economic de-emphasis on armament led to the rise of peaceful tech innovations, ultimately resulting in the world's obsession with robot pets and sushi-making robots.. Fact: Did you know that Japan's first robot pet was so lifelike, it fought a samurai in a video game? Talk about cultural crossover!.
• Headline: U.S. TO SELL SAUDIS $12 BILLION IN ARMS. Impact: The U.S. selling arms to Saudi Arabia led to decades of geopolitical chess games, resulting in more ‘who’s on whose side’ confusion than a family reunion.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more complicated than U.S.-Saudi relations is trying to explain it to your pet goldfish..
• Headline: U.S. Men's Quintet Wins Final. Impact: The men's basketball victory over Puerto Rico ignited a fierce rivalry that led to the invention of the phrase 'basketball is life', which has since been used to justify all manner of questionable life choices.. Fact: Did you know that basketball was originally played with a peach basket? Talk about a fruitless endeavor!.
• Headline: Egypt's Embassy In Turkey Seized By 4 Palestinians. Impact: The seizure of Egypt's embassy by Palestinians sparked a surge in security measures, leading to the infamous 'no one is allowed to hold a pen near an embassy' policy.. Fact: Did you know that hostages prefer snacks over pens? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: In Rockwell Country, U. S. of A.. Impact: The excess radiation incident at Three Mile Island scared the public into thinking every power plant was a ticking time bomb, leading to a weird trend of people wearing tinfoil hats for protection.. Fact: Did you know that radiation exposure is still less hazardous than listening to your neighbor's loud music? Priorities!.
• Headline: Excess Radiation at Middletown.