JUNE 2, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fox's Alien Breaks Box Office Records. Impact: The success of 'Alien' not only launched a franchise but also inadvertently led to the rise of awkward first dates involving sci-fi movie marathons. Thanks, Milton!. Fact: 'Alien' grossing $4.7 million in its first week means it did better than most of my attempts at adulting. And I thought I was a blockbuster!.
• Headline: Jobless Rate Steady Amid Economic Slowdown. Impact: The stagnant jobless rate during economic dips set a precedent for future economists to throw around the phrase 'it could be worse' with alarming frequency. Spoiler alert: it usually is.. Fact: Norwood's statement reveals the secret formula behind economists' job security: always find a way to sound concerned while being entirely unhelpful..
• Headline: Scott Vincent, 57, an Announcer On WABC‐TV ‘Eyewitness News’. Impact: Scott Vincent's career on 'Eyewitness News' led to an increase in the number of people thinking they could be the next big news anchor, resulting in countless failed auditions and cringeworthy local news segments.. Fact: Scott Vincent was to WABC-TV what glitter is to a craft project—unnecessary yet somehow hard to ignore..
• Headline: Steel Imports Continue Fall. Impact: Steel imports dropping is a classic case of 'what goes up must come down,' leading to a massive uptick in conspiracy theories about how aliens are secretly hoarding our steel supply for their intergalactic spaceships.. Fact: AISI's reporting on steel imports is a reminder that while the steel industry might be declining, my love for puns about it is only getting stronger..
• Headline: Schultze Defends Heating‐Oil Subsidy. Impact: The defense of heating-oil subsidies led to future debates about government spending, which inevitably resulted in a rise of armchair politicians and more Twitter arguments than anyone could handle.. Fact: Schultze's defense of the subsidy is a masterclass in how to justify spending money on things nobody wants to talk about. Bravo!.
• Headline: VOTE‐LAW CHARGES AT PAPER DISMISSED,. Impact: The dismissal of vote-law charges against the Duluth Herald opened the floodgates for investigative journalism to become a hotbed of drama and conspiracy theories, leading to an increase in true crime podcasts. Thanks a lot, guys.. Fact: Dismissed indictments are basically the 'oops' of the judicial system—like dropping your ice cream cone but in legal form..