MAY 26, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Urban Gardening Trends in NYC Suburbs. Impact: The suburban gardening craze led to a global food revolution, resulting in the rise of backyard homesteading, organic farmers' markets, and the eventual overthrow of fast food empires by local kale enthusiasts. Because who doesn't want to be ruled by a bunch of hipsters in flannel shirts?. Fact: Did you know that the average backyard garden can produce enough tomatoes to make your neighbors question your sanity when you try to give them away?.
• Headline: Controversy Over Carstens' Election in Germany. Impact: The election of Carstens sparked a political butterfly effect that eventually led to a series of questionable hairstyles in the German political scene—who knew bad hair could change the fate of a nation?. Fact: Ed's critiques were so pointed that they were rumored to be the inspiration behind an entire genre of German ‘angry’ poetry..
• Headline: Tragedy Strikes: No Survivors Found. Impact: The tragedy of this crash ignited a wave of safety regulations that ultimately delayed the invention of flying cars by decades. Thanks, witnesses, for keeping us earthbound!. Fact: In aviation, every crash teaches a lesson. Unfortunately, it often takes a few thousand of them to get it right. Who's counting?.
• Headline: Navy Troubled by Career Force Losses. Impact: The Navy's retention woes set off an arms race of incentives that culminated in the introduction of a 'Free Pizza Fridays' program, which ultimately led to a nationwide shortage of pepperoni. Thanks a lot, sailors!. Fact: The Navy's retention rate drop was so alarming that they considered adding a 'free tattoo' to the enlistment bonus. Because nothing says commitment like a regrettable anchor on your bicep..
• Headline: President, Angered Over Setbacks, Urges Leadership From Democrats. Impact: Carter's energy concerns transformed into a national obsession with solar-powered everything, eventually leading to a dystopian future where everyone is forced to live off the grid and barter for organic avocados.. Fact: Carter was so serious about energy that he once installed solar panels on the White House, which led to the first-ever presidential solar tan..
• Headline: Sports News Briefs. Impact: The sports team's success in China led to a cultural exchange that resulted in the rise of ping pong diplomacy, eventually causing global leaders to take their disputes to the table tennis arena. Who knew table tennis could change the world?. Fact: Sports teams winning in China are so common they should have a dedicated holiday. Like spring break, but with more noodle shops!.
• Headline: Keys. Impact: Eckberg's key-making business inspired a generation of college students to pursue odd jobs, leading to an explosion of quirky side hustles, from pet rock painting to artisan soap crafting. Truly, the American Dream!. Fact: Making keys in a parking lot might be the most relatable college job ever, right next to 'barista' and 'professional procrastinator.'.
• Headline: About New York A Quiet Pleasure in the Silence of the Grave. Impact: Sgt. Cashman's photographs of tombstones sparked a bizarre trend where people began taking selfies with graves, inadvertently launching a new social media platform for the dearly departed.. Fact: Tombstone photography became so popular that some folks began offering guided tours, leading to the first-ever 'Ghosts of Instagram' convention..
• Headline: Rock: Cheap Trick Displays Original Visual Style. Impact: Cheap Trick's original performance style became a blueprint for future rock bands, resulting in a generation of musicians who believed that wearing bizarre outfits was a substitute for talent. Spoiler: it wasn’t.. Fact: Cheap Trick’s concerts were so visually striking that many fans claimed they were just there for the costumes, leading to the invention of the 'rock fashion police.'.