APRIL 20, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Major Renovation Planned for 466 Lexington Ave. Impact: The $90 million renovation, while expected to modernize a building, inadvertently sparked a trend of corporate offices becoming 'too nice,' leading to the phenomenon of employees demanding massage chairs and artisanal coffee at work. Thanks, Olympia & York!. Fact: Did you know that spending $90 million on an office renovation could also fund 1,500 college scholarships? But hey, who needs education when you can have marble countertops?.
• Headline: Memorial Service for Iran's Hoveida. Impact: The memorial service for Iran's Ex-Premier Hoveida brought together diplomats, which somehow led to the world's most awkward karaoke night at the UN that year. Diplomacy really knows how to party!. Fact: Fun fact: Memorial services often attract a diverse crowd, but this one really showcased how hard it is to find a good venue when you've got 200 people and a lot of diplomatic egos to cater to..
• Headline: Chicago's Police Chief Selection Process. Impact: Patrick V. Murphy's appointment as police chief in Chicago set off a series of events where future mayors learned that picking a police chief is way more complicated than picking your favorite pizza toppings.. Fact: Did you know that the process of selecting a police chief can be more convoluted than a soap opera storyline? And trust me, there are more plot twists in this process than in 'Days of Our Lives'..
• Headline: Carter Plan On Oil Tax Due Soon. Impact: Carter's proposed oil tax led to a ripple effect of oil companies inventing increasingly ridiculous tax loopholes, inspiring future generations of accountants to enter the field for the thrill of creative number-crunching.. Fact: Did you know that tax proposals can lead to more loopholes than a rabbit warren? It's like a game of hide and seek, but for money!.
• Headline: New Films Series Opening at the Modern. Impact: The film series at the Whitney Museum sparked an artistic renaissance that led to the rise of hipster film critics who believe that watching a movie in a vintage theater is somehow better than watching it in your own living room.. Fact: Did you know that watching films in a museum setting is now a trend? Because who wouldn't want to pay for the privilege of sitting on hard benches while contemplating 'artistic visions'?.
• Headline: For Non‐Agency Adoption. Impact: The article on non-agency adoptions led to a wave of parents bypassing traditional routes, resulting in a market for adoption consultants who now charge a premium for their 'expertise'—because who doesn't want to pay to adopt?. Fact: Fun fact: Non-agency adoptions can be as complicated as assembling IKEA furniture, except there's a lot more emotional baggage involved. Good luck finding the instructions!.
• Headline: ABRAHAM A. DESSERT A LABOR NEGOTIATOR. Impact: Abraham A. Desser's role as a labor negotiator laid the groundwork for future negotiations that would inevitably involve more coffee breaks than actual discussions, proving that sometimes, the real deals happen over donuts.. Fact: Did you know that labor negotiations often involve more food than actual bargaining? Because nothing says 'let's work this out' like a platter of bagels and cream cheese..