MARCH 23, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Western Union's Innovative Ad Campaign. Impact: This ad campaign led to the rise of college students becoming the most broke demographic, fueling the invention of instant ramen and the myth of the 'starving artist'.. Fact: It’s funny how a simple ad can make you feel like you can afford luxuries while your bank account laughs at you..
• Headline: U.S. Concerns Over OPEC Price Increase. Impact: This OPEC meeting set off a chain reaction of gas price hikes, leading to the invention of carpooling and the rise of the 'I walk to work' hipster culture.. Fact: OPEC meetings are like family reunions—everyone pretends to be friendly until the check comes..
• Headline: Victory Gardens Tax Revolt Impacts Local Jobs. Impact: This tax revolt inspired future generations to think they could just not pay taxes altogether, leading to a new age of 'creative' accounting and the occasional standoff with the IRS.. Fact: Victory Gardens sounds like a nice place, but when it comes to taxes, it might as well be called 'Defeat Gardens'..
• Headline: Corporate Profitability: What Is Best Measure?. Impact: The debate over corporate profitability metrics led to a never-ending cycle of confusing financial reports, which ultimately resulted in the creation of the term 'earnings before everything' to explain the madness.. Fact: Corporate profitability discussions are like watching paint dry—if the paint were a confusing mix of buzzwords and jargon..
• Headline: About Real Estate. Impact: This legal battle over housing management set a precedent that led to more tenant rights movements, eventually inspiring reality TV shows about landlords and their dramatic disputes.. Fact: Real estate lawsuits are the perfect blend of drama and paperwork—too bad they don't come with a director's cut..
• Headline: Tracking Drug Industry Sales. Impact: The success of IMS International's audits led to an explosion in pharmaceutical marketing strategies, making 'ask your doctor' the most annoying phrase in the English language.. Fact: In the pharma world, a successful audit is like winning the lottery—except the jackpot is just more ads for drugs nobody really wants..
• Headline: Papp's 3d World Troupe To Be Classics Repertory. Impact: Papp's endeavors led to the establishment of diverse theater companies, which eventually resulted in Broadway shows that nobody understands but everyone pretends to love.. Fact: Theater is the only place where people can pay a fortune to watch someone else pretend to be someone else—sounds like a regular Tuesday, right?.
• Headline: Rights Plan Foes Celebrate Its Difficulties With a Gala. Impact: The ERA opponents' gala showed that political movements can throw a party just as well as any wedding planner, leading to future events where rhetoric and hors d'oeuvres co-mingle.. Fact: Nothing screams 'we're losing' like throwing a gala to celebrate your failures—pass the canapés!.
• Headline: Article 3 -- No Title. Impact: The uranium spill incident might have caused a minor panic, but it ultimately led to stricter regulations and an increased interest in nuclear energy, which is still a hot topic—pun intended.. Fact: Spilling uranium is a bit like dropping a glass of water—except the glass is radioactive and might lead to a zombie apocalypse..
• Headline: Carter Role in '76 Loan Talks Reported. Impact: Carter's peanut business saga revealed that even presidents have questionable financial advice, encouraging future leaders to keep their family businesses under wraps or just stick to politics.. Fact: Who knew peanuts could lead to such political turmoil? Next time you eat a peanut butter sandwich, remember the weight of history behind it..