JANUARY 10, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: A Quest for Warmth in Vermont. Impact: If only that 1900 wood-burning stove had a time machine, it could have saved humanity from the dark ages of subpar heating. Instead, it just warmed a log cabin, leading to countless hipster retreats and overpriced lumberjack-themed cafes.. Fact: Wood-burning stoves have been around so long that if they had a Tinder profile, it would probably say 'swipe right if you enjoy cozy nights and smoke alarms.'.
• Headline: St. Louis Newspaper Strike Negotiations Continue. Impact: This newspaper strike was like a domino effect; once one paper went down, everyone else had to scramble for headlines, leading to the rise of cat videos on the internet. Thanks a lot, St. Louis!. Fact: Newspaper strikes typically lead to all sorts of creative reporting, often resulting in the public being informed about what the weather was like in 1953 instead of current events..
• Headline: Goldin Says Automatic Holdup Alarms Tie Up 911 Emergency Number. Impact: Goldin's rant about false alarms inadvertently led to the rise of a new generation of communication devices, which will one day lead to people texting '911' instead of calling—because who has time to actually dial?. Fact: In the 21st century, false alarms will become so common that people will start using them as their personal 'emergency' excuse for being late to work..
• Headline: Wood, Field and Stream. Impact: The hunting debate sparked by this article somehow created a whole genre of animal rights activists who would one day turn into the ultimate internet warriors, fighting for every furry creature they could find, including your neighbor's cat.. Fact: Friends of Animals might have thought they were just writing letters, but they were actually laying the groundwork for the most dramatic Twitter battles of the future..
• Headline: King Enters Innocent Plea. Impact: Bernard King's innocent plea was a butterfly flapping its wings in the sports world, leading to a cultural shift where athletes began to be viewed as role models—right before the whole thing flipped and they became controversial figures instead.. Fact: Possession of cocaine has historically been a popular choice among athletes, but it’s not the best pre-game snack if you're looking for optimal performance—or a good lawyer..
• Headline: News of the Theater 3 Disco Musicals Planned for Spring. Impact: The disco musical trend was not just a phase; it sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry, leading to a resurgence of sequined outfits and dance floors that still haunt us at weddings today.. Fact: If disco musicals had been as popular as they thought, we might all be living in a reality where every conversation ended with a dance-off..
• Headline: Rich American Express. Impact: This financial profile was like a crystal ball for American Express, eventually leading to the creation of credit cards that could buy happiness—at least until the bill comes due.. Fact: American Express has been so good at selling credit that they practically pioneered the concept of buying things you can’t afford—like that trip to Bali you’re still paying for..
• Headline: Personal Health. Impact: Micronutrients became the unsung heroes of nutrition, leading to a wave of health fads that claimed to revolutionize diets, while still leaving most of us confused about what 'trace elements' actually are.. Fact: The obsession with micronutrients has led to some hilarious trends, like people trying to get their daily dose from kale chips, which, spoiler alert, are basically just crunchy leaves..