JANUARY 2, 1979

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring AT&T's Executive Legacy. Impact: If Bell hadn't been so cozy in their executive suite, we might have ended up with a world where telephones are still operated by hamsters on wheels. Imagine that! Hamsters could have been the next big tech boom.. Fact: Did you know that the first phone call ever made was to a dog? Just kidding, it was to a guy named Watson. But wouldn't it be hilarious if it was a dog?.
• Headline: New Year's Celebrations Across New York. Impact: Each unique celebration contributed to the unparalleled charm of New York. Who knew that the way you drop a ball or wear a funny hat could lead to the rise of influencers? Thank you, New Year, for paving the way for social media's greatest hits.. Fact: Did you know that New Yorkers once celebrated by throwing their old furniture out the window? I guess that explains why the city has so many 'vintage' shops!.
• Headline: Support for Holtz in Hayes Job. Impact: This endorsement made Holtz the frontrunner, which ultimately led to a series of unqualified people getting jobs because they knew someone. Welcome to the world of networking! Coming soon to a workplace near you.. Fact: Did you know that in politics, endorsements are like the high school popularity contest, but with less sincerity and more backstabbing?.
• Headline: Demand Soars at Fur Auction. Impact: The fur auction's success sent ripples through the fashion industry, encouraging people to believe that wearing animal pelts was chic. Spoiler alert: it was not, and now we have a whole lot of angry animal rights activists on our hands.. Fact: Did you know that in the 1920s, the fur trade was so popular that people would literally fight over beaver pelts? Now that's some serious dedication to fashion!.
• Headline: Book Censorship Increasing in Schools. Impact: The rise in book bans created a generation of rebellious readers who would one day become the hipsters of the literary world, proudly flaunting their forbidden tomes like badges of honor.. Fact: Did you know that the first book ever banned was actually a cookbook? I guess they were really serious about not letting people bake!.
• Headline: COOKE SAID TO GET TOP JUDICIAL POST. Impact: Cooke's judicial appointment marked a turning point in legal precedent, paving the way for future judges who might just as well have been chosen by a spin of the wheel. The law is such a flexible concept, isn't it?. Fact: Did you know that judges often have to wear robes to appear authoritative? It's like they’re all just one fancy costume away from being in a theatrical production!.
• Headline: U.S. Officials See a Bright Future In New Relationship With Peking. Impact: This diplomatic thaw led to the eventual transformation of global politics, proving that sometimes playing nice can lead to a buffet of economic opportunities—unless, of course, it all goes sideways.. Fact: Did you know that 'Peking' is actually the old name for Beijing? But don’t worry, the city still accepts tourists who confuse the two. Just don’t ask for a map!.