DECEMBER 28, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jaycees and Title IX Controversy. Impact: If only the Jaycees had let women in, maybe they'd have found a way to produce better snacks for their meetings. Alas, the butterfly flaps its wings and Title IX ensures that no one gets any special treatment anymore. Just imagine a world where Jaycees could’ve been hosting inclusive bake sales.. Fact: Did you know that the Jaycees were once known for their motto 'Adopt a Highway'? Ironically, they could've used a woman’s touch in planning those clean-up events..
• Headline: Soviet Influence in Iran's Turmoil. Impact: The Soviet Union’s covert control of Iran's oil reserves set off a chain reaction that would eventually lead to a decades-long rivalry in the Middle East. One misstep here and suddenly, you have a lot of very angry countries and a lot of very confused historians trying to make sense of their timeline.. Fact: Did you know that the Persian Gulf has more twists and turns than a soap opera? Spoiler alert: it’s still ongoing..
• Headline: FAA's Response to Midair Collision Crisis. Impact: The FAA's radar proposal probably saved countless lives, but it also led to the invention of the 'Flight Tracker' app, which now allows us to watch our flights get delayed in real-time. You know, progress!. Fact: Did you know that midair collisions are the only situation where people are actively rooting for the ground to come up faster? Talk about a race to the bottom..
• Headline: Fairfield County Finds Few Jobs In the Factories. Impact: The decline of manufacturing jobs might have been the first sign that we should start investing in robots. Fast forward a few decades, and here we are, debating whether our toaster is sentient.. Fact: Did you know that if you ask a factory worker about job prospects in the '80s, they’d probably just stare into space? It's the 'longing for the glory days' look..
• Headline: Re‐Building. Impact: Johnson's remarks about architecture ushered in a wave of questionable design decisions, leading to buildings that still make you question the sanity of their architects. The legacy of 'delightful' architecture is still making us squint.. Fact: Did you know that when architects say 'something new,' they often mean 'I just really want to build a giant metal banana?'.
• Headline: H.E.W. Aide's Fight to Rescue Funds. Impact: Successfully reclaiming funds for prepaid medical plans not only helped those in need but also led to endless debates on budget cuts and how many times you can say 'reclaim' in one budget meeting. The ripple effect? A nation obsessed with health insurance.. Fact: Did you know that reclaiming funds sounds way more heroic than it actually is? It's basically the financial equivalent of finding loose change in the couch cushions..
• Headline: DAYLONG VIOLENCE CRIPPLES TEHERAN; IRAN TO RATION OIL. Impact: The violence in Tehran and subsequent oil rationing would set the stage for decades of geopolitical turmoil. A single day of chaos turned into a history lesson for future generations on how not to handle a revolution.. Fact: Did you know that the oil rationing in Iran was just the beginning of turning 'no gas' into a global phenomenon? On the bright side, it sparked a lot of carpooling initiatives..
• Headline: Smithsonian Is Given Jeweled Czarist Statue. Impact: The donation of the czarist statue to the Smithsonian was a delightful reminder that sometimes, the past just won’t stay buried. Now it’s a glittering symbol of how we love to gawk at opulence while ignoring the story behind it.. Fact: Did you know that the Smithsonian can’t keep all the cool stuff? They have a whole storage facility filled with 'no one wants to see that' artifacts. Sorry, bejeweled statues; you're not always a star!.