DECEMBER 16, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Indianapolis Racers Franchise Dissolves. Impact: The folding of the Indianapolis Racers triggered a chain reaction that led to a shortage of racing fans, thereby influencing the rise of competitive knitting as a new extreme sport. Who knew yarn could be so thrilling?. Fact: Did you know that folding your laundry could be as exciting as an entire racing league folding? Well, now you do!.
• Headline: Miller Addresses Dollar Fund Concerns. Impact: William Miller's denial about the dollar fund being 'practically gone' caused a ripple effect leading to a decade of Americans hoarding quarters. The Great Coin Collection Craze of the '80s was born!. Fact: Did you know that people used to think they could buy a house with just $30 billion? Oh wait, that was just the U.S. government trying to keep the dollar afloat!.
• Headline: Judith Fugate Shines in Nutcracker Review. Impact: Judith Fugate's performance in 'The Nutcracker' inspired a wave of terrible dance recitals across America, leading to the creation of the National Anti-Ballet Association by traumatized parents.. Fact: Did you know that 'The Nutcracker' has been performed so many times that it has its own dedicated support group for those who can’t escape its music every December?.
• Headline: Taiwan's President Protests to U.S. Over Decision on Ties With Peking. Impact: Chiang Ching-kuo's protest to the U.S. led to the eventual rise of the internet meme 'Taiwan No Compromise,' which somehow made its way into every political debate from then on.. Fact: Did you know that Taiwan's political stance has been as consistent as a broken record? And yet, somehow, it still manages to surprise us!.
• Headline: Stranded Mining Town Awaits Bridge. Impact: The construction of the bridge across Tug River was so delayed that by the time it was finished, people had started using canoes as their main mode of transport, leading to the Canoe Craze of '80.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes a bridge isn't just a bridge? It can also be a metaphor for the long and winding road of bureaucracy!.
• Headline: Deadline Is Unmet on Trade Talk. Impact: The failure of major industrial nations to meet a trade talk deadline led to the invention of the 'Trade Talk Bingo' game, where global leaders now compete to see who can say the most buzzwords without actually agreeing on anything.. Fact: Did you know that trade talks are the adult version of waiting for your microwave popcorn to finish? Lots of anticipation, but usually just a lot of hot air!.
• Headline: Quartet Led By Moondoc. Impact: Moondoc's jazz quartet performance led to an unexpected increase in saxophone sales, resulting in a nationwide surge of aspiring saxophonists, most of whom were just very bad at it.. Fact: Did you know that jazz is just a fancy way of saying 'I forgot the notes, but I’ll pretend I’m improvising'?.
• Headline: Oil Storage Tank Ruptures. Impact: The oil spill incident led to the creation of the 'Don't Spill Oil on Your Island' educational tour, which ironically resulted in more oil spills as people tried to recreate the event for social media fame.. Fact: Did you know that spilling oil can actually be a great way to get attention? Just ask any reality TV star!.
• Headline: China Move Reflects Carter's Aim To Protect Arms Pact and Taiwan. Impact: Carter's strategic moves regarding arms pacts and Taiwan sparked a series of political memes that ultimately paved the way for the rise of the modern meme culture. Who knew diplomacy could be so meme-worthy?. Fact: Did you know that political decisions are like a game of Jenga? One wrong move, and the whole thing could come crashing down... and make a great meme!.