DECEMBER 15, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Money Supply Growth Slows in December. Impact: The slowdown in money supply growth led to a nationwide panic where people began hoarding cash in their mattresses, ultimately causing a surge in mattress sales and a new trend: 'Cash Comfort.'. Fact: Did you know that the only thing slowing down faster than the money supply was the average American's understanding of economics?.
• Headline: Carter's Role in Iranian Coalition Formation. Impact: The push for coalitions in Iran accidentally sparked the creation of a highly secretive society of political strategists who met in basements, leading to years of conspiracy theories about what really goes on in government meetings.. Fact: Fun fact: Coalition government meetings are like family dinners—awkward and filled with passive-aggressive comments..
• Headline: Killer Bee Honey Gains Popularity. Impact: The introduction of killer bee honey led to a bizarre trend of hipsters insisting on using it in their artisanal coffees, inadvertently causing a resurgence in bee populations due to all the attention.. Fact: Did you know that killer bees are just regular bees with a really intense workout routine?.
• Headline: Store Owner Sought in Killing. Impact: The search for the store owner became a reality show phenomenon, where contestants had to guess the whereabouts of fugitives for cash prizes, leading to a new genre of entertainment: 'Crime Reality.'. Fact: Did you know jumping bail is the ultimate 'leap of faith'—without the spiritual reward?.
• Headline: S.E.C. Cites Bank Over Disclosure. Impact: The SEC's push for transparency inadvertently led to a new era of reality TV where bankers became the unlikely stars, turning high finance into must-watch drama.. Fact: Did you know that banking laws are about as clear as mud? But hey, at least they’re consistent!.
• Headline: Kennedy Health‐Insurance Hearing Is Held in Queens. Impact: Kennedy’s health insurance hearings sparked a nationwide debate on medical costs, which eventually led to the invention of the popular board game 'Monopoly: Medical Edition,' where players could bankrupt themselves from hospital bills.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more exorbitant than medical costs is the price of a cup of coffee at a hospital cafeteria?.
• Headline: Shortages Of Jet Fuel Are Feared. Impact: The fear of jet fuel shortages led to a bizarre trend where people started hoarding jet fuel in their garages, leading to a new DIY home improvement project: 'Jet Fuel Storage.'. Fact: Did you know that hoarding jet fuel is not a recommended hobby? You might end up with a very volatile collection..
• Headline: Dance: ‘Littler & Littler’. Impact: The performance of 'Littler & Littler' led to a nationwide fascination with shrinking things, eventually resulting in the invention of miniaturized everything—think tiny homes, tiny food, and tiny regrets.. Fact: Did you know that the Amazing Shrinking Dance Co. was originally just a group of dancers who forgot to stretch?.
• Headline: U.S. Says It Sends Iran Only Few Extra Aides. Impact: The U.S. sending a few extra aides to Iran turned into a game of international telephone, where the number of aides increased exponentially with each retelling, leading to a diplomatic incident over who could count.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'a few extra aides' is about as precise as saying 'a couple of beers' when you're at a party?.