JULY 14, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Bike Path Planned for Dodge Estate. Impact: The creation of this bike path inadvertently inspired a generation of hipsters who, in their quest to ride fixies and sip artisan coffee, would eventually lead to the rise of overpriced avocado toast as a breakfast staple.. Fact: Did you know that if you ride a bike long enough, you might actually outrun your problems? Or at least the coffee shop line..
• Headline: Medicaid Abortion Funding Restored in NJ. Impact: The lifting of this curb marked a subtle revolution in healthcare, leading to the eventual rise of debates over health rights that would echo through the ages, making politicians realize they should have just stuck to discussing the weather.. Fact: Fun fact: The debate over abortion often feels like a never-ending season of a reality show, with plot twists and unexpected guest stars..
• Headline: Exploring NYC's Outdoor Sculpture Tour. Impact: Grace Glueck’s suggestion for a sculpture tour indirectly led to an increase in people posing awkwardly next to large art installations for Instagram photos. Who knew public art could make you 20% more likely to get likes?. Fact: It's said that the more abstract the sculpture, the more confusing the captions will be on social media. 'What does this mean, anyway?'.
• Headline: POLICE GIVEN DATA ON BOAST BY ROWE. Impact: The information provided to the police brought forth a chilling reminder of the past, eventually leading to a nationwide reckoning regarding systemic racism and the Klan's lasting impact, creating a ripple that would force society to confront its uncomfortable history.. Fact: The truth sometimes hides in plain sight, like that one sock that always goes missing in the dryer—except this time, it’s a whole lot darker..
• Headline: July 1-10 Auto Sales Up 8.9%. Impact: This surge in auto sales inevitably led to more traffic jams, causing a spike in road rage incidents. Who knew that buying a car would also mean purchasing a ticket to the world's longest waiting room?. Fact: In a shocking twist, more cars sold led to more people getting stuck in their own driveways, pondering life decisions while listening to the same pop song on repeat..
• Headline: Expert to Lead Walking Tour In Central Park. Impact: This walking tour would inspire tourists to wear more comfortable footwear, leading to the invention of fashionable sneakers and the rise of ‘athleisure’—the only acceptable way to look like you just exercised without actually breaking a sweat.. Fact: Walking tours: because who doesn’t want to pay to be told how to walk in a park where they could just, you know, walk?.
• Headline: Indian Group Prepares to Finish Washington Trek. Impact: The 'Longest Walk' would eventually catalyze increased awareness of Native American rights, echoing through history as a reminder that peaceful protests can sometimes lead to more meaningful conversations—or at least a few more hashtags.. Fact: This protest was not just a walk; it was an epic journey that made 'walking to Washington' the new 'walking uphill both ways to school' for future generations..
• Headline: Koch Seeks Expanded Works Bill. Impact: Mayor Koch's proposal would set the stage for a plethora of public works initiatives that would lead to construction booms, which would later be blamed for traffic snarls and the ubiquitous ‘Caution: Men at Work’ signs.. Fact: Public works projects: making every city look like a construction zone since…well, forever..