JULY 6, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: California Assembly Passes 1979 Budget Cuts. Impact: The budget cuts led to a surprising rise in underground abortion clinics, which then sparked a nationwide secret society of 'budget rebels' who fought against oppressive state policies—so, thanks California!. Fact: Fun fact: Budget cuts have a magical way of making people more resourceful, sometimes to the point of turning a garage into a makeshift clinic. Who knew fiscal responsibility could lead to such creativity?.
• Headline: Arrests Made in Pentagon Missile Protest. Impact: The protest at the Pentagon inspired a generation of activists who realized that throwing red liquids could be the next big thing in performance art, leading to the birth of modern-day protest art. Fact: Did you know that red liquid is not as easy to clean up as one might think? Maybe that's why they don’t let us throw paint at the Pentagon anymore.
• Headline: TALKING BUSINESS. Impact: The conversation about the dollar's decline led to a secret pact between finance ministers to only use Monopoly money for international trade, which hilariously backfired during the 1980s. Fact: Fun fact: The decline of the dollar is so consistent that it’s practically a tradition at this point. It’s like the annual 'who can lose the most money' competition.
• Headline: Legacy of the '78 Supreme Court: Shift on Prosecutors and the Press. Impact: The Supreme Court's decisions in '78 inspired a long-running debate about the role of prosecutors, leading to the establishment of a secret club where they all meet to discuss how to get away with it. Fact: Did you know that Supreme Court decisions can change the world? Just not always in the way you'd hope. Who knew justice could be this complicated?.
• Headline: Exhibition in Paris Is Devoted to Rodin's ‘Burghers of Calais’. Impact: The exhibition on Rodin sparked a global movement to appreciate sculpture, which culminated in the creation of a statue of Rodin himself—because, of course, he needed a statue too. Fact: Did you know that Rodin's 'Burghers of Calais' is famous for its emotional depth? Or maybe it's just that people love to see sad figures in public parks.
• Headline: Vandalized South Bronx Project Gets New Chance. Impact: The revival of the South Bronx project was the catalyst for an urban renaissance, where abandoned buildings became trendy art spaces, leading to hipsters flocking to the Bronx for 'authenticity.'. Fact: Fun fact: Even a vandalized project can be turned into a hipster hotspot. Just throw in some artisanal coffee and voila, it’s a cultural landmark!.
• Headline: Dance: ‘Machine’ Keeps the Past Alive. Impact: The SEC's report led to a massive increase in accountants' self-esteem, which inadvertently resulted in them forming a social club that only discusses the thrill of regulation. Fact: Did you know that accountants can be just as thrilling as rock stars? Well, at least they think so when they get together for their annual 'Excel Convention.'.
• Headline: Full S.E.C. Report Out On Auditors. Impact: The opening of 'Broadway, Broadway' became a cultural touchstone that led to the rise of meta-theater, where performers would constantly break the fourth wall, eventually leading to a world where no one could take a story seriously anymore. Fact: Did you know that Broadway plays are basically just expensive ways for actors to yell at people for a living? It’s like therapy, but with sequins.