JUNE 30, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring the Warburg Institute's Impact. Impact: The Warburg Institute's art historians inadvertently inspired a secret society of art thieves who believed they could 'steal the essence' of art. This led to a series of bizarre heists where only the frames were taken, leaving behind empty walls and confused gallery curators.. Fact: Did you know that art thieves have a 75% chance of being caught? The other 25% are just really bad at hiding?.
• Headline: Honoring Henry King's Cinematic Legacy. Impact: Henry King's retrospective led to an explosion of interest in his films, causing a viral trend where 87-year-olds everywhere suddenly believed they could become directors. This spawned the genre 'Elderly Action Movies', with feisty grandmas taking down the mob.. Fact: At 87, Henry King is not only a director but also in a race against his own death to finish his next great work, which is ironically titled 'The Final Cut'..
• Headline: U.S. Warns Moscow Over Libel Case. Impact: This cautionary meeting inadvertently sparked a series of diplomatic back-and-forths that led to the invention of 'diplomatic passive-aggressiveness'. This new form of communication was later adopted by family members during Thanksgiving dinners.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. and the Soviet Union once exchanged more passive-aggressive notes than actual diplomatic correspondence? It’s true; they called it 'The Cold War of Words'..
• Headline: Every Thursday Is Egg ay at Family's Lower East Side Store. Impact: The popularity of 'Egg ay' led to a nationwide obsession with eggs, resulting in a short-lived yet fervent political movement advocating for eggs to be the official fruit of America. It didn't fly, but the hashtag #EggsForPresident trended for weeks.. Fact: Fun fact: The average American consumes about 280 eggs a year, which is only slightly less than the number of bad egg puns you’ll hear at a family brunch..
• Headline: State Democrats Gather At Waldorf, and Governor And His Rival Both Attend. Impact: The joint appearance of rivals led to the creation of the 'Bipartisan Bake Sale', where political opponents tried to outdo each other with baked goods instead of policies. This trend confused everyone and resulted in a nationwide sugar rush.. Fact: Ironically, the only bipartisan agreement in history was over the necessity of cake. It’s hard to argue with dessert..
• Headline: Oil Price May Shift With Dollar. Impact: This statement caused countless conspiracy theories about oil prices being controlled by a secret society of ducks, since everyone knows that ducks have a vested interest in oil—wait, what? Oh right, the dollar thing.. Fact: Fun fact: If ducks did control oil prices, we’d all be paying in quackers. It’s a good thing they prefer swimming to economics..
• Headline: Rise Likely In Fed Rate And Prime. Impact: The predicted rise led to a nationwide panic among mortgage seekers, creating a new phenomenon known as 'Rate Anxiety', which then inspired a best-selling self-help book titled 'Breathe: The Art of Not Cramming Your Life Savings into a 30-Year Mortgage'.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'prime rate' has nothing to do with being in the best shape of your life? It's just a fancy way of saying 'we're going to charge you more'..