JUNE 27, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bank Fined for Carter Campaign Plane Usage. Impact: Had the Bank and Carter Committee not been fined, campaign finance laws might still be as loose as a wild west saloon brawl. Who knows, maybe President Carter would have flown on a golden plane to make America great again – the original Air Force One.. Fact: Did you know that in the 1970s, a plane was considered a luxury? Today, we call them 'Uber Black' and use them to avoid talking to strangers..
• Headline: Perera Sets Deadline for Divorce Settlement. Impact: If Perera had just let Brookes have those extra 18 hours, we could have avoided an entire genre of reality TV based on dramatic divorces. Picture 'Real Housewives of Divorce Court' – the horror!. Fact: Did you know that divorce disputes are basically just legal family feuds with less food and more paperwork?.
• Headline: Saudi Arabia Supports Oil Price Increase. Impact: When Sheik Yamani backed the price rise, it sent shockwaves through the global economy, leading to the modern era of 'I can’t believe I paid that much for gas!' moments. Thanks, Sheik – you saved us from worse existential crises.. Fact: Did you know that oil prices can rise faster than your hopes after a weekend binge-watching motivational speeches?.
• Headline: Voters to Decide on Jai Alai Wagering in November. Impact: The decision on Jai Alai wagering could have led to a gambling renaissance, where betting on obscure sports became the new normal, resulting in a nationwide obsession with betting on the color of the referee's tie. Thanks, democracy!. Fact: Did you know that Jai Alai is basically the world's fanciest game of catch, but with a side of gambling? Classy!.
• Headline: Mantle Released From Hospital. Impact: Mantle's release from the hospital could be seen as a pivotal moment in sports medicine, inspiring future players to recover faster, or at least to hit home runs without stopping for hospital food.. Fact: Did you know Mantle was known for his ability to recover quickly? Unlike most of us, who need a week after just a minor cold..
• Headline: Women's Group Stages a Protest At H.E.W. Office. Impact: The women's group protest could be seen as the pebble that started a landslide of feminist activism, ultimately leading to today's social media campaigns. Who knew a protest could lead to trending hashtags?. Fact: Did you know that protesting is just like tweeting, but with more banners and less character limit?.
• Headline: Buttoning Up Federal Blue Collars. Impact: Ed's call to limit wage increases could be seen as the moment when government employees realized their paychecks would resemble college students’ budgets – forever living on instant noodles and dreams.. Fact: Did you know that limiting wage increases is a great way to ensure that government employees will never have to worry about buying fancy lattes?.
• Headline: Interest Futures Are Widening Field. Impact: The widening field of interest futures could lead to future financial geniuses trying to hedge their bets on everything from avocado toast to cryptocurrency, proving once and for all that anything can be commodified.. Fact: Did you know that futures contracts are basically just a way to gamble on things you may never own? Welcome to adulting!.