JUNE 21, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Vance Advocates Positive Policy for Africa. Impact: Cyrus Vance's speech about policy on African 'positive' could have led to a ripple of optimism, but instead, it just resulted in yet another round of politicians patting each other on the back while nothing actually changed. Spoiler alert: it still hasn't.. Fact: Cyrus Vance was known for his diplomatic prowess, which is fancy talk for 'talking a lot while still achieving nothing.'.
• Headline: SWAPO Talks with West Delayed. Impact: The postponement of talks between SWAPO leaders and Western powers might have delayed peace for a few years, but it also paved the way for countless conspiracy theories about secret meetings that never happened. Who needs the truth when you can have intrigue?. Fact: Fun fact: SWAPO stands for the South West Africa People's Organization—sounds official, doesn’t it? Pretty much the same as the 'Department of Redundancy Department.'.
• Headline: Nassau Police Seek Data in Girl's Killing. Impact: The tragic killing of Sompong Koomwong sparked a wild goose chase for justice that still echoes in the halls of Nassau County Police. Spoiler alert: the goose is still running.. Fact: Sompong Koomwong was only 13—just imagine the potential future that was cut short. A chilling reminder that every life matters..
• Headline: CREDIT MARKETS. Impact: The sale of $150 million in debentures could be seen as the moment that investors realized that the Bell System was basically the Netflix of its time—everyone wanted in, but the yields were still pretty average.. Fact: 8.94% yield? Wow, today that’s practically the equivalent of finding a penny on the street. Thanks, inflation!.
• Headline: Two Experts at Passman Hearing Disagree on His Trial Capability. Impact: The disagreement between experts on whether Otto Passman was competent to stand trial highlights how we still can’t agree on basic things, like whether pineapple belongs on pizza. The ripple effect? A never-ending cycle of legal debates.. Fact: Mental health experts disagreeing? Shocking! It’s almost like they’re... human or something..
• Headline: 25 Ways to Cut Costs of Eating. Impact: Mimi Sheraton's article on cutting food costs might have triggered a culinary revolution—or just a lot of sad microwaved meals. Thanks for the inspiration, Mimi, now we all eat like broke college students.. Fact: Did you know that 'cutting food costs' is just another way of saying 'I can’t afford to eat out'? Truly revolutionary stuff..
• Headline: Five Companies Are Picked to Use Electric Vehicles in Federal Test. Impact: The selection of five companies for electric vehicle testing in government projects could be seen as the dawn of the eco-friendly vehicle era, leading to our current obsession with Teslas and the mystical allure of charging stations.. Fact: Back then, electric vehicles were about as popular as a wet sock. Look at us now—charging stations everywhere and still complaining about range!.
• Headline: Personal Health. Impact: The article on avoiding drowning gave rise to countless safety pamphlets and 'how not to be an idiot in water' courses. Thanks, personal health articles, for making swimming less fun and more like a survival course.. Fact: Did you know that drowning is actually one of the leading causes of accidental death? So, you know, swim safe, or else!.