JUNE 9, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pacific Telephone's Back Tax Controversy. Impact: If Pacific Telephone & Telegraph had just paid their taxes on time, they might have invented the smartphone a decade earlier. Instead, they got tangled in bureaucracy, which led to the creation of the world's most annoying phone trees. Thanks, IRS!. Fact: Fun fact: If you think tax season is stressful now, imagine the stress of potentially losing $750 million! They could've just bought a small country instead..
• Headline: Howard Hughes' Will Deemed Fraudulent. Impact: The revelation that Howard Hughes' will was a fake led to a series of chaotic legal battles, which influenced future estate laws. If only they had a better attorney, we might be celebrating 'Hughes Day' instead of sitting through endless courtroom dramas.. Fact: Did you know that Howard Hughes' life was almost as fascinating as his financial mess? He was a daredevil aviator and a reclusive millionaire with a penchant for bizarre behavior. Talk about a full-time job!.
• Headline: Allen's Widow Is Named to Senate. Impact: Maryon Pittman Allen becoming a senator opened the floodgates for political dynasties, with relatives of politicians now seeing the Senate as a family business. It’s like ‘House of Cards,’ but with even more nepotism and fewer murders.. Fact: Did you know that appointing widows has been a classic political move? It’s like the 'get out of jail free' card of the political world, except it actually involves a lot of hard work and a dash of grief..
• Headline: Maidman in Critical Condition After Being Struck by an Auto. Impact: The maidman’s unfortunate accident led to stricter traffic laws, which ultimately resulted in the invention of speed bumps. Now, every driver has to endure the agony of slow-driving through neighborhoods, all thanks to one critical condition. Good job, humanity!. Fact: Ironically, if the maidman had just waited a few more seconds to cross the street, we might have been spared the invention of speed bumps altogether. Who knew that life could hinge on mere seconds?.
• Headline: Value of Curare Findings Argued at Jascalevich Trial. Impact: The arguments around curare findings at the trial could have led to advancements in toxicology, but instead, they just gave lawyers more reasons to argue over the validity of science. It’s like a never-ending episode of legal ‘Whac-A-Mole’!. Fact: Curare is not just a fancy word for 'poison'; it’s also a great conversation starter at parties if you want to sound smart and slightly sinister!.
• Headline: A Fair at Madison Square. Impact: The fair at Madison Square sparked a series of community events that turned into the modern-day carnival. Now, every town has a summer fair, complete with overpriced cotton candy and rides that may or may not be safe.. Fact: Did you know that fairs are just an excuse for people to eat fried food and lose their sense of balance on carnival rides? It's the ultimate test of your stomach and your wallet!.