MAY 31, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Margaret Hilton and Morgan Freeman Honored. Impact: If Margaret Hilton hadn't won that award, Morgan Freeman might have never been inspired to narrate every documentary ever made, leading to a world devoid of soothing voices guiding us through nature's wonders. Chaos would reign.. Fact: Fun fact: Morgan Freeman's voice is so calming, it's been scientifically proven to lower blood pressure—at least for those not listening to his cooking tips..
• Headline: Food Cost Surge Predicted for 1978. Impact: The rise in food costs in '78 prompted people to hoard cans of beans, leading to the first-ever 'Bean Festival' that turned into a national tradition. Thank you inflation!. Fact: Did you know that in '78, a loaf of bread was about 30 cents? At this rate, if you’re reading this in the future, you might need a mortgage for a sandwich!.
• Headline: Gigi Gaston Triumphs in Jumper Event. Impact: Gigi Gaston's win in amateur-owner jumpers sparked a nationwide interest in horse-jumping, which eventually led to horses being seen as legitimate therapy for stressed-out millennials. Who knew equine therapy would be a thing?. Fact: Horseback riding burns more calories than you might think—so while you’re sitting there, your horse is basically doing CrossFit..
• Headline: Labor Talks Resuming Amid Doubt Over Deadline. Impact: The uncertainty in labor talks led to the rise of budgetary yoga—where politicians learned to stretch deadlines and bend rules like never before. Namaste, politics!. Fact: Labor talks are like family dinners: everyone is tense, there are unspoken issues, and someone inevitably brings up a topic that ends in shouting..
• Headline: North Carolina Populist Wins Upset in Democratic Runoff for Senate Nomination. Impact: Ingram's upset victory sparked a grassroots movement that inspired future political candidates to run on platforms based solely on cat memes. The start of a new era!. Fact: Populism has often been equated with unexpected victories, much like the surprise of finding the last slice of pizza at a party—everyone wants it, but not everyone is ready to fight for it..
• Headline: Museum Tower Delayed by Rift. Impact: The rift over Museum Tower delayed art exhibits, which inadvertently led to several art heists as bored thieves decided to create their own galleries. Modern art, indeed!. Fact: Did you know that art thefts are often inspired by boredom? Some thieves just want to spice up their lives—who says crime can't be creative?.
• Headline: C.A.B. Bids Airlines Pick Own Routes. Impact: CAB's proposal to let airlines pick their own routes led to a chaotic airspace where flights to random places like 'Anywhere But Here' became a popular choice. The sky became the limit—literally!. Fact: Airlines picking their own routes sounds great until you realize that some flights might land you in the Bermuda Triangle if they decide to get too creative..
• Headline: PRAVDA DENOUNCES BRZEZINSKI ON ZAIRE. Impact: Pravda's denunciation of Brzezinski created a ripple effect that led to a new genre of political commentary: passive-aggressive letters to the editor. The art of shade was born!. Fact: The irony of a newspaper named 'Truth' spouting such drama is not lost—because who needs honest journalism when you can have gossip?.
• Headline: Pop: Aretha Franklin. Impact: Aretha Franklin’s performance at Carnegie Hall revived the spirit of soul music, leading to a new generation of singers who thought they could hit those high notes—spoiler alert: they couldn’t.. Fact: Aretha Franklin is often referred to as the 'Queen of Soul'—which is a title that she earned, unlike most royalty who just inherit crowns..