APRIL 11, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shevchenko's Surprising U.N. Defection. Impact: Shevchenko's defection sent shockwaves that eventually led to an uptick in espionage-themed movies and an entire generation of spies dreaming about their own dramatic escapes. Because nothing says diplomacy like a good old-fashioned spy thriller.. Fact: Defections are like the soap operas of international relations—except with fewer dramatic music cues and more existential crises..
• Headline: Transkei Cuts Ties with South Africa. Impact: Transkei’s decision to cut ties with South Africa led to an existential crisis in the diplomatic community, causing future nations to consider how many friends they should really have. Spoiler alert: being recognized by only one country is not the best strategy.. Fact: Transkei's relationship with South Africa was like a one-sided friendship—only one side really cared, and the other was just waiting for the next opportunity to ghost..
• Headline: More Time Is Asked for the F.B.I. For Answering Requests for Data. Impact: The FBI's backlog in data requests has created a time loop where citizens are still waiting for answers to questions that may no longer be relevant, leading to a rise in conspiracy theories and a new reality show called 'Waiting for the FBI.'. Fact: It's almost like the FBI treats Freedom of Information requests like a game of hide-and-seek, except nobody's having fun and the seekers have way too many snacks..
• Headline: Lobbyists Find Directness Can Be ‘Awful Mistake’. Impact: Malgrem Inc's embarrassing ad about lobbying for multinational corporations may have sparked a new trend in lobbying tactics: using vague euphemisms instead of clear communication—after all, who needs honesty in politics?. Fact: Lobbying is basically just a fancy term for 'let's see how many ways we can dress up our greed to make it look like a public service.'.
• Headline: Taxes &. Impact: The IRS extension for filing taxes has led to a culture of procrastination that eventually resulted in the rise of 'tax day' memes, creating a global phenomenon where people bond over their collective dread of the deadline.. Fact: Asking for an extension on taxes is like asking for a timeout in adulting—because who really wants to face the inevitable?.
• Headline: North Korea Said to Make New Overtures to U.S.. Impact: These new overtures from North Korea have led to a bizarre diplomatic dance that would make even the best choreographers dizzy—because nothing says 'we want peace' like a few back-and-forths over missiles.. Fact: Diplomacy with North Korea is like trying to negotiate with a cat—just when you think you’ve got their attention, they suddenly decide a nap is way more appealing..