MARCH 16, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: King Khalid's Appeal to President Carter. Impact: King Khalid's appeal to President Carter inadvertently sparked an underground movement of interpretive dance in Saudi Arabia, as citizens expressed their discontent through spontaneous performances that would eventually lead to a global dance craze, elevating dance floors everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that in 1979, a single interpretive dance performance could have changed the course of history? Well, it didn't, but wouldn't that be a plot twist?.
• Headline: NYC's Union Pay Negotiations Uncovered. Impact: The complex fight over city pay led to the creation of the first-ever New York City Union Negotiation Bingo, where participants marked off phrases like 'fair compensation' and 'budget constraints' until someone shouted 'Unionize!' and chaos ensued.. Fact: Fun fact: NYC unions still argue about pay today, but now they do it over a game of Monopoly instead of at the negotiating table..
• Headline: New Noise Regulations for Motorcycles Proposed. Impact: The EPA's motorcycle noise reduction proposal resulted in a secret society of motorcycle enthusiasts who communicated in whispers and hand signals, leading to the development of a new, quiet motorcycle language that no one can understand.. Fact: Did you know that motorcycles used to be louder than rock concerts? Now, they’re just slightly louder than a gentle breeze!.
• Headline: 6 Guilty in Attack At Washington Sq. Impact: The conviction of the youths in Washington Square ignited a brief but intense movement for a 'No Manslaughter' T-shirt line, which sold out in record time, proving that fashion can be both stylish and morally ambiguous.. Fact: It turns out that 'manslaughter' is just a fancy term for 'oops, my bad!' in legalese..
• Headline: Soviet Now Termed Cool to Linking Cuban Pullout to Ethiopian Truce. Impact: The USSR's indecision on linking the Cuban pullout to the Ethiopian truce caused a butterfly effect that led to decades of awkward diplomatic dinners where no one knew what to talk about, resulting in a global shortage of small talk.. Fact: Did you know that awkward silences can last longer than an actual Cold War? They really should have just played charades..
• Headline: WILLIAM GORDON DIKE. Impact: William Gordon Dike's mention in the news inspired a series of poorly drawn caricatures that circulated in underground comic books, leading to a brief moment of fame for a man whose name would otherwise be lost to time.. Fact: Fun fact: If you Google 'William Gordon Dike', you might end up on a list of people who are not famous. You're welcome!.
• Headline: And Who Would Say Neigh?. Impact: The New Jersey committee's plans for the horse industry inadvertently led to an unexpected rise in equine-themed reality TV shows, proving once and for all that America will watch anything if it involves animals.. Fact: Did you know that horses are the original influencers? They were getting followers long before Instagram existed!.
• Headline: MILTON PERLMUTTER, HEAD OF STORE GROUP. Impact: Milton Perlmutter's leadership of the store group led to a series of bizarre store promotions, including 'Buy One, Get One Free' on items nobody wanted, which somehow became the hallmark of American retail.. Fact: Fun fact: Milton Perlmutter's biggest competition was a half-off sale on expired yogurt. Spoiler: The yogurt won!.
• Headline: Puerto Rico Utility Sale Effort Ends. Impact: The Puerto Rico utility sale effort's failure inspired a generation of politicians who thought 'public utility' was just a fancy way to describe their own usefulness, leading to an influx of self-help books on how to sell oneself.. Fact: Ironically, the only thing less appealing than a public utility sale is a politician trying to sell you their life story..
• Headline: Convicted Pennsylvania Official Wins $10,925-a-Year State Pension. Impact: The convicted Pennsylvania official's pension approval led to a new trend in which inmates started marketing 'prison retirement plans', creating a strange but lucrative niche in the financial industry.. Fact: Did you know that in some states, you can actually retire from prison? Just not in the way you might hope!.