FEBRUARY 8, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: NIY.U. Will Quit Town Hall byAug. 31. Impact: NYU's decision to quit Town Hall triggered a series of events leading to a nationwide movement of universities trying to reclaim public spaces, culminating in the infamous 'College Campus Takeover of 2042'. Fact: Did you know that Town Hall was once a place where people actually gathered for town meetings? Now, it’s just a reminder of how much we took community seriously before we all got distracted by TikTok.
• Headline: Children's Aid. Society: 125 Years of iving ‘Street Kids’ a Fair Chance. Impact: The Children's Aid Society's 125th anniversary led to a spike in public awareness about street kids, ultimately resulting in the creation of 'Reality TV for Good', where contestants had to survive a week on the streets to win funding for nonprofits. Fact: 125 years of helping kids? That’s almost as long as it takes to finish a single episode of a reality show these days!.
• Headline: Careers. Impact: The growing need for dietitians resulted in a bizarre chain reaction where fast food chains started hiring dietitians as consultants, leading to the invention of the 'healthy fries' that nobody asked for. Fact: Dietitian: the only profession where people pay you to tell them they can't eat cake. And they still won’t listen!.
• Headline: Technology. Impact: The pressure pump problems led to a series of unfortunate incidents in the shuttle program, which ultimately inspired a generation of engineers to pursue careers in fixing things that don't work—because, of course, that's what NASA needs more of. Fact: Did you know that NASA's motto is 'Failure is not an option'? Clearly, they haven’t met any of the shuttles yet.
• Headline: Books of The Times. Impact: Judith Appelbaum and Nancy Evans' book inspired a wave of authors to believe they could get 'happily published', leading to an avalanche of mediocre manuscripts that still clog literary agents' inboxes today. Fact: Getting published is kind of like dating—everyone thinks they're great until you see them in person.
• Headline: Stage ‘Shaggy Dog’ Appeals to the Ear. Impact: The review of the 'Shaggy Dog' play led to an unexpected surge in dog-related theatrical productions, resulting in a now-famous canine Broadway star who’s apparently a better actor than most of Hollywood. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Shaggy Dog Story' originally referred to tales that went nowhere? Kind of like most meetings, really.