JANUARY 31, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Delay in Massachusetts Oil Lease Sale Upheld. Impact: This ruling delayed the sale of oil leases, which inadvertently led to a decade-long search for alternative energy sources. If they had just sold those leases, we might have ended up with flying cars powered by fossil fuels instead of electric scooters. Thanks, Judge Campbell!. Fact: Did you know that Massachusetts is home to more than just great clam chowder? It's also where oil lease dramas unfold like soap operas, but with less drama and more paperwork..
• Headline: Expansion Appeal for Neediest Cases Fund. Impact: The push for expansion of appeals prompted an influx of funds to needy cases, which eventually led to an entire generation of millionaires who thought donating would absolve them from their past sins. Spoiler: it didn’t.. Fact: Did you know that donating to charity can sometimes feel like throwing money at a wall and hoping it sticks? Yeah, that’s the essence of philanthropy!.
• Headline: Cukor Celebration at Lincoln Center. Impact: Cukor's recognition seems trivial today, but it set off a chain reaction of filmmakers being honored, leading to the modern Oscar race where every director tries to outdo each other in acceptance speeches. Spoiler alert: not everyone is a Meryl Streep.. Fact: Did you know that George Cukor directed 'My Fair Lady'? So, next time someone claims they can teach you to speak properly, ask them if they have a Tony..
• Headline: CAliTER DEFENDS ROLE IN MARSTON OUSTER AS 'ROUTE MATTER'. Impact: Carter's 'routine matter' defense sparked a series of political justifications that have become the blueprint for every politician's excuse since. If they had just admitted they were wrong, we might have saved a lot of time and hot air.. Fact: Did you know that 'routine matter' is just political jargon for 'I messed up, but let’s pretend it’s no big deal'? It's the adult version of saying 'my dog ate my homework.'.
• Headline: Rep. Wright's Dinner Raises Funds and Questions. Impact: Wright's dinner raised funds and questions, which led to the eventual creation of stricter campaign finance laws. So, thank you, Jim Wright, for paving the way for more convoluted election cycles!. Fact: Did you know that political dinners are basically just fancy potlucks where the only dish served is the same old political rhetoric? Bon appétit!.
• Headline: Opera: Otello's New Desdernona. Impact: The opera's revamp of Desdemona sparked an unexpected trend in reinterpretations of classic roles, eventually leading to a slew of bizarre modern adaptations. Yes, we have Shakespeare in space now.. Fact: Did you know that in opera, singers can dramatically die on stage multiple times? It’s like a rehearsal for real life, minus the dramatic flair!.
• Headline: $26.7 Billion Trade Deficit By Oil Imports, ls Nation's Biggest. Impact: The record trade deficit led to panic and the eventual rise of the 'Buy American' movement, which ironically made us all buy more imported goods to support local businesses. Who knew economics could be so twisted?. Fact: Did you know that a trade deficit is like a bad breakup? You keep trying to make it work, but in the end, you’re just left with a pile of regret and a lot of takeout menus..
• Headline: Golfers'ExemptionSuit Looms as Blockbuster. Impact: The golfers' exemption suit became a landmark case that opened the floodgates for every athlete to seek special treatment. Today, we have athletes looking for exemptions for everything from practice schedules to snack breaks.. Fact: Did you know that golf is the only sport where the players are more concerned about their score than the amount of grass they destroy? Priorities!.