JANUARY 12, 1978

Full News Archive

• Headline: Matlack's Bonus Dispute with Mets. Impact: Had the Mets actually paid Matlack, he might have decided to stick around, leading to a World Series win in '73. Instead, he became a free agent, and the Mets continued their legacy of mediocrity for decades to come. Thanks, Mets!. Fact: Did you know that the Mets have perfected the art of not paying their players? It's almost impressive!.
• Headline: Pamela Myers' Captivating Cabaret Performance. Impact: Pamela Myers' cabaret performance could have inspired a new wave of Broadway talent, leading to an explosion of musicals about mundane life. Instead, we got 'Cats.'. Fact: Did you know that cabaret performances are basically just karaoke for people who think they can sing? No judgment, just facts!.
• Headline: Taking the Measure of Unemployment. Impact: Carter's tax cut proposal, if implemented perfectly, could have sparked an economic boom. Spoiler alert: it didn't. Thanks to every politician's favorite pastime—overcomplicating things.. Fact: Did you know that tax cuts are often just like diets? Everyone talks about them, but few actually follow through effectively!.
• Headline: Top Business Group's Plan On Fighting Unemployment. Impact: This comprehensive approach to unemployment could have reshaped the workforce landscape, leading to fewer people sitting at home watching daytime TV. Instead, we still have reality shows.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'unemployment' is just a fancy way of saying 'professional couch potato'?.
• Headline: Design Notebook. Impact: The centennial celebration of the Museum of Natural History didn't just highlight its architectural beauty; it also reminded us that museums are the original social media—showcasing humanity's greatest hits (and misses) for all to see.. Fact: Did you know that the natural history museum has more exhibits on dinosaur bones than people have on their dating profiles? Just a thought!.
• Headline: New Jersey Briefs. Impact: Had NJ Bell not asked for that whopping rate increase, perhaps customers wouldn’t have been driven to the brink of switching to smoke signals. Alas, the cycle of rate hikes continues.. Fact: Did you know that utility companies are like that friend who always 'forgets' to pay you back? They just keep asking for more!.
• Headline: Shinn Says Severance‐Pay Proposal Came From City Hall, Not His Panel. Impact: If Shinn’s panel had actually proposed the severance pay rule, it might have set a precedent for fairer labor practices. Instead, it just became another episode in the soap opera of NYC politics.. Fact: Did you know that NYC politics operate on the principle that if something can go wrong, it probably will—just like your last date?.
• Headline: Film Stays as Union Ends Curbs. Impact: The film production in NYC could have revitalized the local economy, but alas, it probably ended up creating more jobs for hipsters as baristas than for actors. Gotta love that ironic twist!. Fact: Did you know that film crews are the only people who can shut down a street for hours and still convince you it's 'art'?.
• Headline: Aqueduct Prepares To Open. Impact: The opening of Aqueduct, despite the strike, could have ushered in a new era of resilient racing; instead, it just proved that the show must go on—regardless of the chaos behind the scenes.. Fact: Did you know that horse racing is just another way to gamble on things that are definitely going to happen? Because nothing says 'fun' like betting on animals running in circles!.