DECEMBER 23, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: City Council Votes Down Pay-Rise Proposal. Impact: By killing the pay-rise bill, the City Council ensured that future generations of politicians would continue to struggle with the deep ethical dilemma of whether to pay themselves more for doing such a great job. Fact: The NYC Council: where pay raises are harder to get than a New Yorker to smile on the subway.
• Headline: Notes on People. Impact: This innocent photo op with the royals may have sparked a fashion trend in royal portraits that would echo through the ages, influencing everything from Instagram selfies to royal wedding dress designs. Fact: Royal family portraits: the only time it’s acceptable to wear a crown and still look like you just rolled out of bed.
• Headline: A Victim of Cancer, Governor Gives Up Virgin Islands Post. Impact: The resignation of a governor due to cancer led to increased awareness of health and wellness, eventually resulting in a spike in kale consumption and the rise of wellness influencers. Who knew cancer could lead to such a green legacy?. Fact: Cancer: the ultimate reminder that life is short, but your smoothie can be long.
• Headline: BANKS’ LOBBY CALLED STRONGEST IN CAPITAL. Impact: This revelation about bank lobbying strength would eventually lead to the creation of new superhero teams, like 'The Regulators,' who battle against the evil forces of lobbyists in a never-ending saga. Fact: Bankers lobbying: the only profession where asking for more money is considered a 'strong move' and not a sign of greed.
• Headline: E.P.A. to Propose Fundamental Changes in Treatment of Water Supply to Curb Cancer‐Causing Chemicals. Impact: The EPA's decision to tackle cancer-causing chemicals would lead to a future where water bottles became the new currency. Who needs gold when you have filtered water?. Fact: Drinking water: because who doesn’t want to consume a little bit of everything, including chemicals?.
• Headline: ‘Appearance’ of Conflict of Interest Leads ACTION to Cancel Contract. Impact: Canceling contracts for 'appearance' reasons set a precedent that would cause future politicians to act only when cameras are rolling, giving rise to the modern concept of 'performative politics.'. Fact: In politics, the appearance of a conflict of interest is often more damaging than the actual conflict – so always look good when you cancel a contract!.
• Headline: U.S. Envoy Confers With Gromyko. Impact: This meeting between U.S. and Soviet leaders would sow the seeds for future diplomatic strategies, including the classic 'let’s agree to disagree' dance that continues to this day. Fact: Conversations with Gromyko: where every discussion feels like a game of chess, and the stakes are nuclear.