DECEMBER 22, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Expanding F.D.A. Food Regulation Powers. Impact: The FDA's increased control over food laws might have inadvertently led to an entire generation of conspiracy theorists convinced their peanut butter is secretly a government experiment.. Fact: Did you know that the FDA's food regulations are more complex than a soap opera plot twist? Spoiler alert: they still haven’t figured out how to classify kale..
• Headline: OPEC SAYS OIL PRICES WILL NOT BE RAISED FOR THE TIME BEING. Impact: OPEC’s decision to keep oil prices steady could have delayed the rise of alternative energy sources, causing hipsters to wait longer for their beloved artisanal solar panels.. Fact: OPEC's oil price decisions are like a soap opera; every episode leaves us on the edge of our seats, wondering who will betray whom next!.
• Headline: Barbara's Dinner Party. Impact: Barbara Walters' dinner party could be seen as the moment peace between Egypt and Israel began to simmer, proving that sometimes even politics needs a good appetizer.. Fact: Who knew that a fancy dinner party could be more powerful than a United Nations assembly? Next time, they should just serve some good sushi!.
• Headline: Carter Backs Plan To Increase Funds For Mass Transit. Impact: Carter's backing of mass transit funding might have inadvertently set off a chain reaction of cities trying to one-up each other with their public transport systems. Welcome to the age of bus envy!. Fact: Did you know that public transportation can actually reduce traffic congestion? Or as I like to call it, 'the magic of not driving behind someone who forgot how to use a turn signal.'.
• Headline: SADAT BARS ACCORD ON ISRAELI TROOPS IN WEST BANK AREA. Impact: Sadat's refusal to accept Israeli troops might have been the butterfly wing that led to endless debates over borders and peace treaties, making world leaders wonder if they'd ever get a break.. Fact: Sadat's courage in addressing such a contentious issue was like trying to defuse a bomb with a toothpick; it’s impressive but also terrifying!.
• Headline: U. S. Inquiry Finds Neglect of Georgia Dam That Burst. Impact: The neglect of the Georgia dam could have been the moment when engineers around the world collectively decided to put down their donuts and actually check on their projects.. Fact: Dam failures can teach us a lot about infrastructure! It’s like a really bad episode of 'This Old House' where they forgot to check the foundation..
• Headline: New York, New York. Impact: Anthony Lewis's dispute over the Westway project could have sparked a chain reaction where cities everywhere began fighting over highway funds like they were the last slice of pizza.. Fact: Using highway funds for transit projects is like using your grocery money for takeout; it feels good until you realize you can’t afford to eat next week..