DECEMBER 14, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Meany's Impactful Convention Re-election Speech. Impact: Meany's speech was so impactful that it inspired a generation of labor leaders who, in turn, inspired the creation of a reality TV show called 'Real Labor Leaders of America.' Spoiler alert: it was canceled after one season due to a lack of drama. Fact: Did you know that labor speeches are basically the original TED Talks? Only with more flannel shirts and fewer startups.
• Headline: David Freudenthal: A Life of Service. Impact: Freudenthal's tenure at Bloomingdale's led to the development of the concept of retail therapy, which has since spiraled into a global phenomenon where people buy unnecessary items to cope with life. Thanks, David!. Fact: Did you know that 82 is the new 62 for people who have spent their lives in retail? They just age in dog years.
• Headline: Assad's Stance Against Peace Talks. Impact: Assad's adamance not only stalled peace talks but also inadvertently inspired a new line of motivational posters reading 'Stay Stubborn, Change the World.'. Fact: Did you know that stubbornness is sometimes mistaken for leadership? Ask any toddler.
• Headline: Careers. Impact: The prediction of industries that would fare well led to a frenzy of college students choosing majors based solely on S&P's list, resulting in a regrettable boom in 'Cement Engineering' degrees. Fact: Did you know that in 1978, choosing a career based on a list was just as reliable as choosing a diet based on a magazine cover? Spoiler: it rarely works out.
• Headline: Bell Appoints 10 to Replace Group That Quit Investigation of F.B.I.. Impact: This event set a precedent for the government’s favorite pastime: appointing new committees to replace the ones that resigned out of sheer frustration. It’s the bureaucratic equivalent of a revolving door. Fact: Did you know that in government, quitting is just a polite way of saying 'I have had enough of this circus'?.
• Headline: RCA Tower's Demolition Ends a Radio Era. Impact: The demolition of the RCA Tower marked the end of an age, leading to a sudden increase in nostalgia-driven radio shows, which still fail to attract any actual listeners. But hey, they’re great for background noise!. Fact: Did you know that the RCA Tower was once a symbol of communication? Now it’s just a pile of rubble and memories.
• Headline: Metropolitan Briefs. Impact: Purcell's appointment of McCabe led to a chain reaction that resulted in all future county attorneys being judged on how well they could juggle legal briefs and public opinion. Fact: Did you know that naming a new County Attorney is basically like choosing a new flavor of ice cream? Everyone has an opinion, but it rarely matters.
• Headline: COUNCIL PASSES BILL GIVING 51 OFFICIALS AND MEMBERS RAISES. Impact: This bill was a crucial moment in history, solidifying the concept that elected officials can indeed raise their own salaries while constituents are left wondering where their tax dollars go. Spoiler: it’s not to your bank account. Fact: Did you know that when politicians raise their salaries, it’s called 'incentivizing hard work'? When you do it, it's called 'greed.'.
• Headline: Corporate Services Up in. New York Although Big Companies Have Left. Impact: The exodus of big companies led to a renaissance of small businesses that thought they could fill the void, resulting in a wave of artisanal pickle shops and overpriced coffee joints. Because who doesn’t want to pay $7 for a cup of beans?. Fact: Did you know that in NYC, small businesses are like the little engine that could? Except it’s mostly just a lot of steam and no one knows how to fix the brakes.