DECEMBER 4, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Public Financing in Gubernatorial Campaigns. Impact: In a shocking twist, the successful public financing of gubernatorial campaigns led to a future where every candidate has to don a superhero costume to attract funding. Who knew capes could be so lucrative?. Fact: Did you know that public financing of campaigns was once thought to make politicians more accountable? Spoiler alert: it didn't..
• Headline: Celebrating Professor Longhair's Legendary Performance. Impact: Professor Longhair's mythic music spurred a secret society of musicians who believed they could summon ancient spirits through their tunes. Turns out, they mostly just summoned bad reviews.. Fact: Fun fact: mythic music is just a fancy way of saying 'we made this up while high.'.
• Headline: Peking Official Visiting Cambodia. Impact: Deputy Prime Minister Chen's visit to Cambodia set off a chain reaction of diplomatic encounters that eventually led to a game of international ping-pong. The world was never the same.. Fact: Did you know? Diplomatic visits are like Tinder dates for countries—awkward, filled with small talk, and usually end with someone ghosting..
• Headline: The Yanks’. Impact: Paul's role in the Yankees' success made baseball so popular that it accidentally sparked a nationwide obsession with hot dogs, leading to countless unhealthy diets. Thanks a lot, Paul!. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing more inflated than a baseball player's ego is the number of hot dogs consumed at a Yankees game..
• Headline: Earth Tremors Shake Kamchatka. Impact: The earth tremors in Kamchatka turned out to be a warning sign of the impending rise of the 'earthquake dance craze.' Dance floors were never the same after.. Fact: Did you know? Kamchatka is home to more volcanoes than any other place on Earth, which means they never run out of 'hot' topics..
• Headline: Big A Race To Cunning Trick, $22.40. Impact: The agreement to rotate racing dates inadvertently led to the rise of the 'Horse Racing Calendar,' which is now a bestseller among procrastinators with too much time on their hands.. Fact: Did you know? Horse racing is the only sport where you can lose money while cheering for a four-legged animal to run faster. What a deal!.
• Headline: HIGHLIGHTS. Impact: The U.S. efforts to reduce trade deficits with Japan created a time loop where every economic summit ends with everyone just agreeing to disagree over sushi.. Fact: Fun fact: The U.S.-Japan trade discussions are basically the adult version of arguing over who gets the last slice of pizza..
• Headline: Protesters Disrupt Appearance By Australia's Prime Minister. Impact: The disruption of Prime Minister Fraser's appearance led to an increase in public protests that eventually inspired the infamous 'Protest Dance'—you know, the one where no one knows what they're protesting, but everyone's doing it.. Fact: Did you know? Protests often start as serious matters but can devolve into dance-offs faster than you can say 'dissent.'.