NOVEMBER 7, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Allies Concerned Over Missile Access. Impact: This fear of missile denial led NATO allies to develop their own secret stash of rubber bands and paper airplanes, causing an unforeseen spike in office supplies sales in the 1980s.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason for cruise missile anxiety was the fear of being out-missiled at parties? Nothing says 'cool' like bringing your own missiles..
• Headline: Amnesty Investigates U.S. Prisoners' Cases. Impact: The investigation into these cases inadvertently sparked a trend of true crime podcasts, leading to a world where every coffee shop has a barista who knows more about murder than your average detective.. Fact: Did you know that David Rice's case became so well-known it inspired a line of 'framed' photo frames? Because nothing says 'I was wronged' like an overpriced piece of decor..
• Headline: Candidates for Office in NYC and Suburbs. Impact: The mere act of compiling this list motivated future political candidates to work harder on their social media game, leading to the era of influencer politics and the rise of the hashtag.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason candidates list their names is so they can later say, 'You voted for me, remember?' It’s a great way to guilt-trip constituents!.
• Headline: Malta Chief Ends China Visit. Impact: Mintoff's agreement with China inadvertently led to the world's worst game of telephone, where economic aid got translated into 'free fortune cookies' by the time it reached the Maltese people.. Fact: Did you know that Mintoff's visit was so impactful that it inspired a new flavor of gelato in Malta? They call it 'Communist Cream.'.
• Headline: U.S. Inquiry Into Bias Is Opposed At Prestigious New York Schools. Impact: This opposition led to the creation of secret clubs where only the elite could discuss their bias without judgment, further deepening the divide between the haves and the have-nots.. Fact: Did you know that the school's motto became 'We don't discriminate, we just prefer certain types of excellence'? Talk about a double entendre!.
• Headline: Defector From China Bothered By Some Aspects of Taipei Life. Impact: This defector's complaints sparked a movement that resulted in a new line of guides titled 'Living in Taipei: The Good, The Bad, and The Weird,' which became a bestseller among expatriates.. Fact: Did you know that the defector's biggest complaint was the lack of 'authentic' street food? Because what could be worse than having too many dumpling choices?.
• Headline: New Zealander to Meet Carter. Impact: Muldoon's meeting with Carter inspired a series of awkward diplomatic gifts, ultimately leading to the invention of the inflatable kiwi as a symbol of peace.. Fact: Did you know that the last time a New Zealander met a U.S. president, they brought a sheep? Talk about a 'baa-d' first impression!.
• Headline: Japan Giving Palestinians Food. Impact: This humanitarian act inadvertently resulted in an international food festival that celebrated culinary diversity but ended with a bizarre sushi-pita fusion that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that this donation was so generous that it led to the creation of a food pyramid? Spoiler: sushi was at the top, obviously..