NOVEMBER 5, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.O.P. Promotes 'Row B' in Manhattan Elections. Impact: In a shocking twist of fate, the G.O.P.'s attempt to hide their identity led to a butterfly effect where future political campaigns would require candidates to wear costumes for recognition. Thus, we have the modern-day trend of politicians dressing up as superheroes for publicity.. Fact: Did you know that the G.O.P. once thought hiding on 'Row B' would make them less recognizable? Turns out, voters prefer masks over subterfuge!.
• Headline: Drilling for Oil in Khyber Pass Costs Millions. Impact: The costly oil hunt sparked a frenzy among tech startups to innovate 'eco-friendly' oil drilling that ultimately led to the invention of 'invisible oil'—an innovative concept that still remains undiscovered.. Fact: Did you know spending $30,000 a day is about the same as what I spend on coffee in a year? Priorities, people!.
• Headline: People and Business. Impact: Roger M Kirk's ascension to presidency led to a series of very serious meetings about whether the 'M' stood for 'Mediocre'—a debate still raging in boardrooms today.. Fact: Did you know that in corporate circles, changing a president is sometimes more dramatic than a reality TV show? Welcome to the boardroom drama!.
• Headline: Unemployment Inches Up to 7%, ‘Disappointment’ to White House. Impact: The rise in unemployment prompted a nationwide trend of people starting ‘unemployment support groups’ which eventually morphed into the infamous 'Job Seekers Anonymous', where members share their most creative excuses for why they haven't found work yet.. Fact: Did you know that 7% unemployment is like the bad haircut of economics? Everyone knows it’s there, but nobody wants to talk about it..
• Headline: Finally, the Only True Explanation for Everything. Impact: The revelation that there might be a true explanation for everything led to a conspiracy theory renaissance, where people began attributing every oddity in life to ‘little people’—not the short-statured individuals, but rather a secret society that controls the universe.. Fact: Did you know that if everything had a true explanation, we’d all have to stop blaming the cat for knocking things off the shelf? What a tragedy!.
• Headline: Dutiful Son Runs Against Father. Impact: When a son runs against his father, it sets off a series of family feuds that would make any soap opera look tame—eventually leading to reality TV shows focused solely on political family drama.. Fact: Did you know that family dinners can be awkward? Now imagine those dinners being broadcasted live on TV—welcome to American politics!.
• Headline: Notes on People. Impact: Governor Brown's refusal to occupy the mansion became the blueprint for modern-day politicians prioritizing comfort over status, bringing about the ‘I’d-rather-have-my-pizza-delivered’ political aesthetic.. Fact: Did you know that living in a $275-a-month apartment is what most of us call 'living the dream'? Talk about setting the bar low!.
• Headline: City Bar Releases Analysis of Judicial Candidates. Impact: The NYC Bar Association's ratings of judicial candidates created a competitive environment that led to the first-ever 'Judicial Reality Show' where judges were voted off based on their courtroom performances.. Fact: Did you know that legal briefs are not actually that brief? It's a cruel joke played on all who dare to read them!.
• Headline: The ‘Air Bag’ Controversy. Impact: The air bag controversy led to a worldwide obsession with safety that eventually resulted in the invention of the 'safety bubble'—a trendy accessory to keep you safe from all potential hazards, including bad fashion choices.. Fact: Did you know that air bags are designed to save lives, while the controversy around them has saved countless discussions at dinner parties?.