AUGUST 13, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Life of Edgar H. Lawrence. Impact: If Edgar H. Lawrence had just decided to stay home that day, who knows? Maybe the invention of the toaster would have been delayed by a decade. Thanks, Edgar, for causing that butterfly to flap its wings.. Fact: Did you know Edgar H. Lawrence was once considered for a role in the 'Greatest Hits of Mundanity'? Spoiler: he lost to a rock..
• Headline: Fine Folk Duos at Bottom Line. Impact: The harmonious tunes of Doc and Merle Watson inspired countless hipsters to pick up acoustic guitars decades later, leading to an unprecedented rise in plaid shirts and artisanal coffee.. Fact: Fun fact: If you play a Doc and Merle Watson song backward, it reveals the secret to a perfect avocado toast recipe..
• Headline: THOMAS L. HARRIGAN. Impact: Thomas L. Harrigan could be the reason why historians today still struggle to find interesting facts about random people. His life was a black hole of excitement.. Fact: Did you know Thomas L. Harrigan was once the most exciting name in a room full of beige wallpaper? No? That’s because it’s a lie..
• Headline: Suspect Is Emerging as a Study In Extreme and Varied Contrast. Impact: Berkowitz being labeled a 'study in extreme contrast' likely led to countless armchair psychologists trying to analyze their own quirks, inadvertently creating the world's largest population of self-diagnosed narcissists.. Fact: Did you know that after this sketch, Berkowitz became the poster child for 'how not to choose your friends'? Quite the reputation..
• Headline: EMILY DE FOREST WHITE. Impact: Emily De Forest White's presence in the headlines indicates that even in the world of underwhelming names, there exists a legacy of mediocrity that echoes through time.. Fact: Did you know that Emily was once voted 'Most Likely to Be Forgotten'? And look, it worked!.
• Headline: OFFICER WHO FIRED PISTOL IN PARKING LOT REASSIGNED. Impact: Officer Fernandez's parking lot antics likely inspired a future generation of law enforcement to consider alternative careers in stand-up comedy. Who knew shooting a revolver could be so punchline-worthy?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing less amusing than a cop with a gun in a parking lot is the paperwork that follows? Classic..
• Headline: An Irish‐American Political Shibboleth Is Laid to Rest. Impact: The article on the political shibboleth may have sent shockwaves through the political landscape, leading to future debates that could put even the driest of toast to sleep.. Fact: Did you know that a 'shibboleth' is actually just a fancy way of saying 'I have a big vocabulary'? You’re welcome..
• Headline: Four Newsmen Freed Without Bail On Yonkers Trespassing Charges.