AUGUST 12, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Maravich's Landmark NBA Contract. Impact: Had Maravich not become the second highest paid player, the NBA might have missed out on the trend of overpaying athletes for their questionable life choices. Imagine a world where basketball players are paid in sandwiches instead of dollars!. Fact: Did you know that Pete Maravich once scored 68 points in a single game without a three-point line? Seems like he was destined to break records and wallets!.
• Headline: Pertamina Settles $1.6 Billion Claim. Impact: This settlement might have inadvertently inspired future companies to think, 'Hey, if we just throw around billions, we can settle anything!' And thus, the age of frivolous lawsuits was born.. Fact: Did you know that $1.6 billion could buy approximately 1,600 million-dollar homes? Just think of the real estate market explosion that could have happened instead!.
• Headline: Bob Hope's Hollywood Journey Revealed. Impact: Bob Hope's memoirs inspired countless future comedians to dig into their own pasts, leading to a surge in stand-up acts about childhood trauma and awkward family gatherings. Thanks, Bob, for ruining family dinners forever!. Fact: Did you know that Bob Hope's career spanned nearly 80 years? That's longer than some people's marriages!.
• Headline: Dow Halts Production and Sale Of Fumigant Linked to Sterility. Impact: This decision might have saved countless future generations from being born into a world where they could be chemically induced to not exist. A real win for humanity, if you think about it!. Fact: Did you know that DBCP was actually used in agriculture for decades before its dangers became widely known? Let's just say farming took a very dark turn for a while!.
• Headline: Predawn Tour Of Brooklyn Byways. Impact: This quirky tour concept led to a boom in midnight excursions, making it socially acceptable for people to be awake at 2 AM while discussing how to navigate Brooklyn's finest potholes. Who knew lack of sleep could be so trendy?. Fact: Did you know that Brooklyn has more neighborhoods than some countries have cities? If only they could market tours based on how many times you can say 'No, not that area!'.
• Headline: Publishing: Of Time And the Book Club. Impact: The rise of books on homosexuality in the '70s paved the way for book clubs everywhere, leading to countless discussions that inevitably ended with someone saying, 'I just didn't get it.' Thank you, diversity!. Fact: Did you know that book clubs are basically just legally sanctioned gossip sessions? Who needs a reality show when you have Susan from the book club?.
• Headline: SUSPECT IS FREE ON BAIL IN YALE STUDENT SLAYING. Impact: This event sparked a nationwide conversation about bail reform, forever changing how society views justice and privilege. It’s a tragic reminder of how deeply societal issues can intertwine.. Fact: Did you know that the legal system has a way of making the guilty feel like they can just pay their way out? A fun fact not so fun when you think about it..
• Headline: ‘Proxy’ Syrian Brides Meet Their Grooms in New York. Impact: This event might have inadvertently led to a rise in reality TV shows about arranged marriages, where love is secondary to the ratings. Who knew romance could be so profitable?. Fact: Did you know that arranged marriages are still prevalent in many cultures? Because nothing says 'I love you' like your parents picking your partner!.
• Headline: Casino Inquiry Urges Curbs on Liquor and Cigarette Deals. Impact: This inquiry might have influenced the way casinos operate today, creating a world where you can enjoy your gambling and feel morally superior while you do it. Because who doesn't love a good ethical dilemma with their blackjack?. Fact: Did you know that organized crime has been involved in the gambling industry for decades? It's almost like they get a bonus for being sneaky!.