JULY 13, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Carter Seeks Deadline Waiver for Stock Sale. Impact: If only Carter had let that deadline stand, perhaps the entire stock market would have become a game of musical chairs, where no one knew when the music would stop. Lance's stock might have been the catalyst for the next Great Depression, but instead, it just led to more 'creative' financial maneuvers in the years to come.. Fact: Did you know that deadlines are just suggestions for some politicians? Kind of like how taxes are for the wealthy!.
• Headline: Soft Rock Performance at Festival Lacks Energy. Impact: This underwhelming performance set off a chain reaction of soft rock bands trying to ‘pump up’ their sound, inadvertently leading to an explosion of jazzercise-themed music festivals in the '80s. Who knew lackluster performances could inspire leg warmers?. Fact: Fun fact: Soft rock is just rock music that decided to take a nap instead of hitting the gym..
• Headline: Recall When ‘Hair’ Comes Back. Impact: The revival of 'Hair' not only reignited interest in the counterculture movement but also caused a resurgence in questionable fashion choices, leading to an entire generation believing that fringe and tie-dye were acceptable forms of self-expression at all times.. Fact: Did you know 'Hair' was originally about a group of hippies? It’s ironic how the revival attracted more people who consider ‘being woke’ a fashion statement than a lifestyle..
• Headline: Theatrical Producer, AdelaHolzer,Named In Fraud Indictment. Impact: Holzer’s scandal sent shockwaves through the Broadway community, leading to a string of ‘trust no one’ policies that ignited the age of overly complicated financial structures in the arts. Who knew that fraud could lead to more fraud prevention training?. Fact: Did you know that investing in theater is like dating? Sometimes you get burned, and sometimes you just end up paying for dinner..
• Headline: Songs Sweet, But Too Low. Impact: This review prompted a nationwide search for the ‘perfect pitch,’ which spiraled into a bizarre trend where musicians began using pitchforks instead of tuning forks. The musical landscape was never the same, leading to the rise of 'alt-folk' bands that claimed to be 'in tune' with the earth.. Fact: Did you know that 'too low' could also describe our expectations for some of this year's music releases?.
• Headline: Companies Issue Earnings Reports. Impact: The release of these reports sparked a frenzy of stock trading that would eventually lead to the creation of Wall Street's infamous 'whisper network.' Suddenly, everyone was a financial expert, and your neighbor's cat had more stock tips than you did.. Fact: Did you know that reading earnings reports is the adult equivalent of reading the back of a cereal box? Exciting, but ultimately unsatisfying..
• Headline: TV: Mindless Blurbs Go ‘Coast to Coast’. Impact: The launch of this pilot led to the proliferation of sensationalized news, where ‘mindless blurbs’ became the standard. This opened the floodgates for reality TV, leading to our current obsession with watching people live their most mundane lives.. Fact: Did you know that ‘mindless blurbs’ are basically the precursor to TikTok? Who knew short attention spans had such deep roots?.
• Headline: Ballet: Neumeier Opts for Invention. Impact: Neumeier’s decision to innovate in ballet led to a renaissance of choreography that would inspire future generations of dancers to think outside the box. It also gave rise to a new genre of dance known as ‘confused contemporary,’ which still baffles audiences today.. Fact: Did you know that ballet is the one place where falling down is considered art? Talk about a twisted sense of aesthetics!.