APRIL 8, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Transition of Leadership in Business. Impact: Ross Barzelay becoming president led to a series of corporate takeovers that eventually resulted in a world where cats run the boardrooms and dogs are the janitors. Who knew a simple leadership change could lead to a canine uprising?. Fact: Ross Barzelay's first act as president was to replace the coffee machine with a fancy espresso maker. Because, you know, caffeine is the real MVP in business..
• Headline: 1977 Bancroft Prizes Awarded at Columbia. Impact: The Bancroft Prizes ignited a fierce competition among authors, leading to the creation of the 'Most Pretentious Book Title' award that still haunts literary circles today.. Fact: Alan Dawlcy's book on the Industrial Revolution was so boring that it allegedly caused three people to fall asleep during its reading at the awards ceremony. Zzz....
• Headline: Search for ‘Most Wanted’ Person Was Involved in F.B.I. Indictment. Impact: The search for Bernardine Dohrn set off a series of events that led to the creation of the FBI's 'Most Wanted' reality show, where fugitives compete for the title while dodging authorities. Who doesn't love a good chase?. Fact: Wiretapping relatives is the Bureau's version of family reunions. Who knew they were just trying to keep it 'in the family'?.
• Headline: ROKATYN URGES CITY TO ISSUE OWN NOTES. Impact: ROKATYN's push for the city to issue its own notes sparked a revolution in municipal finance, leading to cities issuing bonds for ridiculous projects like a statue of a rubber duck. The economy? Who needs it when you have quackery!. Fact: The $3.6 billion notes were initially going to fund a 'World's Largest Pizza' festival, but someone realized that might not be the best use of funds. Shocking!.
• Headline: Williamson, W.Va., Is. Staggering In Aftermath of Heavy Flooding. Impact: The flooding in Williamson, W.Va., led to the unexpected rise of a new water sports industry, with locals becoming champions in flood surfing. It’s all fun and games until someone gets swept away.. Fact: The mayor's cost estimate of $6-9 million was just his way of trying to keep the federal relief checks coming. Classic move!.
• Headline: Around the Nation. Impact: The GAO's critique of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission spurred a bizarre trend where nuclear plants began hiring yoga instructors to calm employees down. Namaste, but also explode?. Fact: Nuclear plants adopted a 'no yelling' policy post-report. Because clearly, that's how you prevent meltdowns!.
• Headline: ‘What Sets Storms to Rolling in His Soul’. Impact: Richard Wright's poignant article fueled a cultural renaissance, inspiring a new generation of artists to create works that questioned societal norms. Who knew irony could be so powerful?. Fact: Wright's musings on the Negro plight were so profound that they inadvertently inspired a series of hip-hop tracks. Talk about a legacy!.
• Headline: Bus Drivers Go on Strike Against a Commuter Line Out of 42d St. Terminal. Impact: The bus drivers' strike led to the invention of the virtual bus, allowing people to ‘ride’ buses from the comfort of their homes, all while sipping on artisanal coffee. Because who needs real transportation?. Fact: The strike was sparked over a disagreement about snack options on the bus. Apparently, pretzels weren't cutting it!.