MARCH 30, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Carter's Tax Rebate Faces Senate Opposition. Impact: The failure of the $50 tax rebate plan instigated a series of budget cuts that eventually led to the inception of the 'Emergency Boredom Fund,' allowing citizens to apply for grants to fund their Netflix subscriptions during economic downturns.. Fact: You know, $50 in the 70s was like winning the lottery for those who preferred to spend their money on... well, anything other than taxes..
• Headline: Senate Postpones Earnings Ceiling Implementation. Impact: The Senate's delay in imposing a curb on outside earnings inadvertently led to a secret society of senators profiting from side gigs as motivational speakers, which ultimately resulted in the rise of the 'Senator's Self-Help Empire' in the 80s.. Fact: It’s amazing how a simple delay can turn into a full-blown career change for those who are just too good at talking..
• Headline: LOCKHEED CHIEF COUNSEL IS ORDERED TO TESTIFY. Impact: This court order opened the floodgates for a series of investigations into corporate ethics that, ironically, resulted in a slew of new reality TV shows about corporate scandals, confusing morality with entertainment.. Fact: Lockheed's chief counsel probably wished he had just taken up knitting instead of trying to navigate the murky waters of corporate payoffs..
• Headline: REORGANIZATION PLAN PASSES HOUSE, 395‐22. Impact: President Carter's reorganization plan led to a temporary surge in bureaucracy that inspired an entire generation of government workers to become professional paper pushers, creating a new subculture known as 'The Office Supply Enthusiasts.'. Fact: This bill was the political equivalent of letting a toddler loose in a candy store, except the candy was government agencies..
• Headline: Around the Nation. Impact: The lawsuit against the Miami ordinance sparked a nationwide conversation on LGBTQ+ rights, ultimately leading to the invention of Pride Month, which ensured that rainbow flags would forever reign supreme.. Fact: Who knew a little legal drama could open the floodgates to a tidal wave of fabulousness and glitter?.
• Headline: DUTCH ADMIT TOWER HAD NOT AUTHORIZED KLM JET TO TAKE OFF. Impact: The KLM incident set off a chain of events that led to the international airline industry adopting excessively complex takeoff clearance protocols, making air travel feel more like launching a rocket than boarding a plane.. Fact: Air traffic controllers now have more power than the average superhero, and yet, they still can’t manage to keep planes from hitting each other..
• Headline: Kennedy Inquiry Witness Is an Apparent Suicide In a Mansion in Florida. Impact: The apparent suicide of a crucial witness in the Kennedy inquiry led to a conspiracy theory explosion, resulting in the creation of online forums where people now spend hours debating whether the moon landing was staged or if Bigfoot is real.. Fact: Sometimes, history is less about the events that happened and more about how creatively people can spin them into conspiracy theories..