MARCH 19, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brooklyn District 13 Rejects State Tests. Impact: This refusal to administer tests sparked a nationwide debate on the validity of standardized testing, ultimately leading to the rise of 'anti-test' activists and a new generation of students who proudly declared their GPA as a symbolic act of rebellion.. Fact: Did you know that refusing to take tests doesn't actually make you any smarter? But hey, at least your stress levels are lower!.
• Headline: Met Offers Berg's Symbolic ‘Lulu’. Impact: The Met's performance of 'Lulu' created a cult following for avant-garde opera, resulting in a spike in the sale of berets and the phrase 'I only listen to opera in the original language' becoming a mandatory requirement for hipsters everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that 'Lulu' is often considered a 'love it or hate it' opera? It’s like the pineapple on pizza debate but with more dramatic flair..
• Headline: Sylvia Sass Is an Attractive Tosca. Impact: Sylvia Sass's debut as Tosca led to an influx of amateur sopranos attempting to replicate her high notes in karaoke bars, resulting in several unfortunate incidents and the eventual banning of 'Nessun dorma' from all public establishments.. Fact: Did you know that opera singers actually train their entire lives to hit those high notes? Meanwhile, I can barely hit the snooze button without waking up my neighbors..
• Headline: Bridge:. Impact: The sudden surge in popularity of contract bridge led to a nationwide obsession with card games, causing the rise of poker nights and a generation of people who would rather bluff than engage in small talk.. Fact: Did you know that bridge is one of the few games where the most thrilling part is watching your friends try to remember the rules? It's like a live-action game of 'who can forget first.'.
• Headline: ZAIRE FLYING TROOPS TO BATTLE AREA IN BID TO REPULSE INVADERS. Impact: Zaire's military action sparked a series of geopolitical shifts that eventually led to the emergence of a new world order, where 'who can invade whom' became the hottest new reality TV show format.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'if at first you don't succeed, try, try again' was actually inspired by military strategies? Just kidding, but it should have been..
• Headline: Senators Favor LoweringTaxes For 46 Million. Impact: The tax bill's approval triggered a national conversation about fairness and equity, resulting in the establishment of a new holiday known as 'Tax Day Protest Day,' where people celebrate their taxes by... well, complaining about them.. Fact: Did you know that the standard deduction was created to make taxes more confusing? Because if there's one thing people love, it's a good old-fashioned puzzle on their tax forms..
• Headline: Two Hanafi Moslems Arraigned; One Accused of Slashing Hostage. Impact: The arraignment of the Hanafi Moslems brought attention to issues surrounding violence and hostage situations, inspiring countless crime dramas and leading to the popular misconception that all criminals are just misunderstood artists.. Fact: Did you know that being accused of slashing someone does not qualify you for a reality TV show? But it should, because the drama would be off the charts!.