MARCH 5, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cliff Irvine and Queen Elizabeth's Horse Breeding Lesson. Impact: Had Cliff Irvine not instructed Queen Elizabeth on horse breeding, she might have taken up knitting and the royal family would now be known for their sweaters rather than their steeds, changing the course of British fashion forever.. Fact: In the world of horse breeding, it's not just about genetics; it's about who has the best tea during the process..
• Headline: National Museum of the Building Arts Proposal. Impact: This push for a National Museum of the Building Arts might have inspired a future generation of architects to create the world's first 'Museum of Unfinished Buildings'—a tribute to all those projects that never quite made it.. Fact: The Smithsonian has so many museums that they could practically house a collection dedicated to the art of procrastination. It's a real thing!.
• Headline: Tribute to Gregory F. Coleman. Impact: Gregory F. Coleman’s legacy as a home news editor may have inspired countless journalists to adopt the art of the 'home' angle—leading to today’s reality TV obsession where even your cat's daily life gets a show.. Fact: Did you know that being a home news editor means you get to decide which neighbor's gossip is worthy of print? Riveting!.
• Headline: ‘The Wonderful Crook’ Deals Delightfully With the Swiss. Impact: Had 'The Wonderful Crook' not entertained audiences, the Swiss might have never perfected the art of cheese fondue as a distraction from their own banking secrets, leading to a world without melted cheese.. Fact: The only thing more delightful than the Swiss is the fact that they have cheese with holes in it—talk about a hole-y experience..
• Headline: The Apple Hill Chamber Players. Impact: The concert by the Apple Hill Chamber Players may have sparked a new trend in classical music where every performance includes an interpretive dance, ultimately leading to a ballet based on the history of the potato.. Fact: Chamber music is often played in small settings, which is why you rarely see a chamber orchestra perform in a stadium—unless they've been really, really bad at planning..
• Headline: For Blind Youths A Special Tour of Art Museum. Impact: This special tour for blind youths may have inspired a movement towards more inclusive museum experiences, ultimately leading to museums where visitors can pet the paintings—if only the paintings were not so picky.. Fact: You can touch art as long as you don't touch the 'Do Not Touch' signs—those are quite sensitive..
• Headline: CHARLES MORROW WILSON, REPORTED ON AGRICULTURE. Impact: Charles Morrow Wilson's reporting on agriculture might have led to an increased interest in sustainable farming practices, influencing everything from organic food movements to hipster farmers' markets.. Fact: Agriculture is the only profession where you can literally plant a seed and watch it grow—unless you’re in a corporate meeting, in which case, good luck with that..
• Headline: Westchester Nominee. Impact: Gordon W. d Burrows seeking Conservative Party support may have set off a chain reaction of unlikely political alliances, leading to the infamous 'Doughnut Party' of the future, where policies revolve around snack breaks.. Fact: In politics, endorsements are like high school popularity contests, but with slightly more expensive suits and slightly less actual popularity..
• Headline: 15 Persons Indicted In Check Forgeries Involving $350,000. Impact: The check forgery scandal might have led to increased security measures in banking, unintentionally resulting in the birth of the 'Oops, I Did It Again' checks, which are printed with 'forgery-proof' ink that still somehow gets forged.. Fact: Check forgeries are like magic tricks—one minute the money is there, and the next, poof! It's gone. And nobody knows how..
• Headline: Space Salesmen. Impact: The discussion about the shuttle's commercial possibilities could have inadvertently inspired the launch of 'Space Uber,' where astronauts pick you up in orbit for a fee, revolutionizing space travel forever.. Fact: Space salesmen are just like regular salesmen, except their pitch includes a lot more stars and a lot less breathing room..