FEBRUARY 11, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Carter Administration's Development Aid Strategy. Impact: This decision sparked a continuous debate about aid, leading to the creation of a secret society of bureaucrats known as 'The Givers', who meet annually to argue about who gets what percentage of a dollar.. Fact: Fun fact: Aid discussions have been known to last longer than most sitcoms, but with fewer laughs and more spreadsheets..
• Headline: Dance Uptown Series: A Modern Perspective. Impact: The reimagining of dance on campus resulted in a global epidemic of interpretive dance performances everywhere, from corporate boardrooms to grocery stores, proving once and for all that no one can escape the awkwardness of a flash mob.. Fact: Did you know that modern dance was originally invented as a way for people to express their inability to find a partner at social events?.
• Headline: Gunman Charged With Kidnapping After Freeing Hostage Unharmed. Impact: This odd case led to the creation of a new law stating that no one could be given immunity from prosecution for not being a complete jerk. It also inspired countless 'How to Not Be a Criminal' workshops.. Fact: In the world of crime, there are actually more rules than in a game of Monopoly, but somehow, no one seems to follow them..
• Headline: Article 1 — No Title. Impact: The untitled article caused chaos among historians, leading to an underground movement to title every historical document, eventually resulting in the bizarre naming of documents like 'That Thing About the King and Pope'.. Fact: It's said that untitled documents are like cats: they don't care about your opinion, and good luck trying to get them to follow your lead..
• Headline: NIGERIAN SEES YOUNG, URGES U.S. AFRICA ROLE. Impact: This meeting initiated a long series of diplomatic discussions that would later be known as the 'Let’s Pretend We Know What We’re Doing' conferences, which have since become an Olympic sport in international relations.. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic meetings often involve more snacks than actual negotiations? It's a proven fact that pastries can lead to peaceful resolutions..
• Headline: Vance Says He'll See, in Mideast, H the P.L.O. Has Eased Its Stand. Impact: This statement set off a flurry of hope that ultimately led to an era of 'Wait and See' diplomacy, where everyone just waited for someone else to act. Spoiler alert: no one acted.. Fact: Did you know that 'waiting' is actually a strategic move in international diplomacy? It’s like playing chess, but everyone is stuck on their phones..