JANUARY 18, 1977

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ford's Budget Proposal Stresses Caution. Impact: Ford's budget proposal led to Congress deciding to 'slow down' on spending, which strangely resulted in everyone adopting the mantra of 'less is more'—a concept that would inspire countless failed diets and minimalist art movements in the years to come.. Fact: Did you know that Congress has mastered the art of slow spending? It's like watching a tortoise race a snail, except the prize is just more red tape!.
• Headline: Congress Asserts Authority in Carter Setback. Impact: The assertion of will by Congress against Carter was like throwing a pebble into a pond, rippling out to create a tidal wave of political drama that would later inspire reality TV.. Fact: Did you know? Congress is basically the original reality show—full of backstabbing, alliances, and a shocking lack of actual reality..
• Headline: Chemical Carriers of Cholesterol Put Light on Heart‐Attack Puzzle. Impact: The revelation about cholesterol carriers spun a web of dietary confusion that still haunts grocery store aisles, leading to countless trends like 'fat-free' and the rise of 'superfoods'—because who doesn't want to eat kale and feel superior?. Fact: Surprise! Cholesterol is like that popular kid in school—everyone talks about it, but nobody really knows what it does..
• Headline: Highlights of Ford's 1978 Budget. Impact: The highlights of Ford's budget became the stuff of legends, setting the stage for future presidential budgets, which would range from mildly interesting to utterly forgettable, depending on how much caffeine Congress had consumed.. Fact: Did you know? Budget highlights are like the CliffsNotes of finance; they promise to be informative, but mostly just remind you of how much you don't care..
• Headline: The Growing Women's Studies Movement Gets Organized. Impact: The organizing of the women's studies movement became a pivotal moment that not only challenged academic norms but also set the stage for future debates about what constitutes 'real' knowledge—leading to your aunt's insistence that she knows better than educated folks.. Fact: Fun fact: Women's studies were once thought to be a niche topic, but today it's practically a requirement for understanding your family gatherings!.
• Headline: Marketplace for the Evolving Gourmets. Impact: Macy's Marketplace for gourmet products paved the way for the hipster food movement, ensuring that everyone would one day pay $7 for artisanal pickles—because nothing says 'I have money' like overpriced snacks.. Fact: Did you know? Gourmet food markets are like Disneyland for adults; you go in thinking it’ll be a quick trip and leave with a $50 bag of kale chips..
• Headline: SORENSEN WITHDRAWS, BOWING TO RESISTANCE TO C.I.A. NOMINATION. Impact: Sorensen's withdrawal due to CIA nomination resistance became a cautionary tale about political appointments, serving as a reminder that sometimes, even the most qualified candidates can't escape the clutches of conspiracy theories.. Fact: Isn't it adorable? The CIA nomination process is like a game of musical chairs, except the music is conspiracy theories and the chairs are all made of red tape..