FEBRUARY 6, 1976

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jordan Reestablishes Parliamentary Session. Impact: The reconvening of the Jordanian Parliament sparked a series of intense debates that eventually led to a new trend in parliamentary self-importance, where every parliament worldwide began to reconvene just to make sure they were still relevant. Spoiler alert: they weren't.. Fact: Did you know that King Hussein could have just sent a postcard instead of reconvening Parliament? Less paperwork and way more efficient!.
• Headline: Senate Introduces Controversial Busing Bill. Impact: Senator Roth's busing bill ushered in a new era of creative legislative gymnastics, where politicians began to invent ever more convoluted ways to avoid doing the right thing. The flip-flop became an Olympic sport.. Fact: Busing: because who needs to desegregate schools when you can just shuffle kids around like a game of Monopoly?.
• Headline: 2 FEDERAL JUDGES UPBRAID MEROLA. Impact: The stern warning from the federal judges led to an influx of legal dramas on television, where lawyers became the new rock stars—right until the audience realized they preferred vampires and superheroes.. Fact: Fun fact: these judges probably had no idea that their stern warning would lead to countless TV lawyers shouting 'Objection!' in dramatic fashion for decades to come..
• Headline: Auto Heir Chosen by McCarthy To Run for the Vice‐Presidency. Impact: McCarthy's choice of William Clay Ford as running mate inadvertently led to the era of political dynasties, where every wealthy heir thought they could run for office, resulting in a new breed of candidate: the 'Rich Kid Politician'.. Fact: William Clay Ford was chosen for his last name—after all, who wouldn't want to be associated with a car company during an election?.
• Headline: Bentsen Wages Desperate Fight To Gain Delegates in Oklahoma. Impact: Bentsen's desperate fight for delegates led to a new strategy in politics: 'Throw money at it until it works.' This strategy has since been adopted by countless candidates with varying degrees of success (read: mostly failure).. Fact: Doubling your budget in politics is like doubling your calories on a diet—definitely not the solution you think it is!.